We are 6!!!

Shortly after 1 pm, after having been driving for over 5 hours (at least three of which we had been staring at my cell phone), we received the call we have been praying for. An agency representative shared the great news that an Ethiopian court had officially declared us to be the parents of the boys referred to us three months ago. We are ecstatic to introduce the newest members of the Tapper family:

Andrew Jeremiah Abu (approximately age 6) and Jadon Desalegne (approximately age 2).

As we settle into our home in Quebec this week, we'll do so with smiles on our faces, knowing that these boys will soon join us! Thank you to all who prayed with us!

Praise God, everybody! Applaud God, all people! His love has taken over our lives; God's faithful ways are eternal. Hallelujah!

Psalm 117:1-2 (MSG)

Out of the Uncertainty

This morning, I was quite pleased to see an email from a director at our agency with the subject "New Court Date." We have been eagerly--alright, often anxiously--awaiting word on when we might be able to have this appearance before the Ethiopian judge rescheduled ever since our first scheduled time was denied because of a government paperwork issue.

In adoption circles the question, "Which wait is the hardest?" is sometimes debated. For some, it is the hard-working, paper-chasing wait before you can declare yourself "paper pregnant" or all the necessary documents are collected, signed, sealed, stamped, and sent off to the proper authorities. For others, the hardest part is the do-nothing time of waiting for a referral. Still others find the waits after a referral--with pictures and background information in hand--to be the worst. These may include waiting for a court date or waiting out the time until parents can actually get on a plane to go meet their new family addition(s).

Personally, I do not particularly enjoy the paperwork (who does?), but it is usually a fairly well-laid out process. The inevitable delays and difficulties may arise, but it is easy to see what needs to happen and to make the necessary effort in order to achieve the goal. Not so hard.

Waiting for a referral, on the other hand, was very hard for me. There were so many unknowns. When? How many? What age(s)? From which region? From what circumstance? What genders? When? Will they be related? How will they fit into our family? What will they be like? When? When? When? This was terribly hard for me.

Once we had our referral, the wait for court did not feel too burdensome. It was a delight to have answers to so many of my questions. Having a specific day to focus on also allowed us to make tentative plans. However, with the documentation issues that caused us not to pass that day, our post-referral wait changed dramatically. Suddenly, our file was closed, new paperwork was needed, and new questions started to float in my head: When will our paperwork get there? What will happen to it then? When will we get a new court date? What if we don't pass again? When will we travel? What if we get caught in court closures? Again, the unknowns seemed to press in.

Do you think I have control issues?

What a lesson in gracefulness during helplessness this has been! ...and I must say that I am thankful to leave at least some of the uncertainty behind and to look forward to a new court date: Monday, June 22. Sometime after you and I head to bed on Father's Day night, a judge in Ethiopia will have the opportunity to legally change the status of two beautiful boys in Ethiopia from fatherless to fully adopted. Can you wait?

One Week from Tomorrow Night...

marks the time when a judge in Ethiopia will make the call for whether our family officially expands to include two precious boys or whether we continue to wait for a legal declaration. While past statistics have suggested that approximately one third of court cases are not successful on their first attempt, Ethiopian adoption cases have experienced a particularly difficult week so far. The government and court systems are tightening regulations to assure that the system remains free of corruption. In the last few days, our agency has had only one of seven cases pass court on the first try. With that said, I am requesting your prayers.

Here are some specific details about which you can be in prayer:

• that the judge in our case would be able to be present in court at the assigned time
  
• that our agency would have all the necessary documents in place and correctly completed
  
• that MOW@, the government agency in charge of ET adoptions, would write a necessary recommendation letter in time for our representation in court


• that the MOW@ letter would properly address the issues in our case
  
• that any necessary witnesses in our case would be present and provide clear testimony


• that the judge would look favorably on our case's presentation and documentation

Thank you so much for your spiritual support as we hope to make these boys orphans no more!

Ethan showing his love for the boys

The family enjoying some video sent to us from the Koby family -- What a treasure!

Abby showing the prayer chain we've been using to count down the days to court.

The next little while will certainly be pretty exciting around here!!! Stay tuned for more!!!

A very small "peek"

We got a short email from the family that delivered our care packages to the Transition Home in Ethiopia. Having just arrived home, they hadn't even uploaded their photos yet...but they had this to share about our boys:

• I did not download my pics and video yet, but i have both for you as well as foot stampings. My husband spent so much time with your boys opening their bags and looking at everything and they were so joyful. They kept kissing your pictures on the cubes! You will be in love with them!

Doesn't that just make you smile???

Court date!

Time seems to be moving faster lately in the lives of the Tappers!

We have packed a lot of things into the last few days. A two-day yard sale (that brought in some nice profits and helped to unload a lot of stuff that we had no desire to move), a visit from Mike's parents, a short visit from old friends, and--of course--a special time of Easter worship and celebration.

Today, we were excited to get a court date for our Ethiopian adoption. On May 21st, we should get word about whether A___ and D____ have officially been declared our boys. If so, we would probably leave for Ethiopia sometime that first week of June. If not, we will have to wait for another court date.

Additionally, we are eager to hear from the family that was delivering our care packages. That sweet family should have met their son and spent some time with our boys in Ethiopia during the wee hours of the morning here in Maine. I am so curious about that interaction! I'll be sure to share when I get any news!

The blessing of others...

Estimated adoption fees: $22-30,000.
Items to place in a care package for our boys, plus postage: $42.
Cadbury eggs (my favorite!) to help me pass the time until the boys are officially ours: $.75/each.
Having great friends who help you out with special projects, who bring you dinner on busy days, and who share their insights on important adoption issues: priceless.

Thanks, Leanne, Helen, and Kevin!
And, if you are interested in a wonderful piece on bonding and attachment written by a family who adopted two boys (in a similar age range as ours) last fall, check out http://family-from-afar.blogspot.com/2009/04/glimmer-of-breakthrough.html. Their example is inspiring!

Post-referral Progress

While some find the waiting after a referral to be worse than the wait for a referral, I have not found this to be the case for me yet. I know our boys in Ethiopia are loved and cared for by the wonderful staff at our agency's transition home. They are provided with some age-appropriate education including some English and Bible lessons. Moreover, our agency has been doing a phenomenal job of late getting all the necessary documents and witnesses in place for families to pass through court. Knowing their names and having seen their terrific little faces, I can now hold them in my heart until we can hold them in our arms!

We have had some work to do on our end this week. First, we sent referral acceptance paperwork and our final payment to America World Adoption agency. On a side note, as I wrote the check and transferred money from our "adoption fund" into our checking account, I had to stop and thank God for his incredible provision in our lives. After withdrawing everything needed to cover our largest payment of the process, we still have a significant amount of money put away for our travel expenses. I cannot think of a better investment!

In addition to our acceptance paperwork, we had paper-chasing to do for a home study update. Our home study will soon expire, so we are required to refile certain forms and meet with our social worker again in order to renew this important piece of paperwork.

Finally--and on a much more fun note--we were able to connect online with a family that recently passed court and will be traveling in April to pick up their infant son. They have expressed a willingness, even eagerness, to deliver some "care packages" to our boys. We were able to fill two gallon-sized ziploc bags that this family will take with them to Ethiopia. In each bag, we were able to squeeze a T-shirt, a pair of pants, a photo cube, a punching balloon, a small package of jelly beans, a book, and a snuggly blanket. We also included a very special note. Ethan and Abby have been busy making pictures and projects for their brothers, and this one was too special not to include! Can you read Ethan's message?

(I love you 6 year old brother. Ethan. Ethan.)

In a few weeks, we'll get pictures of the boys opening these packages! That will be another exciting day. What a journey!

Referral Day!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sometimes--especially on days that I work at the YMCA and have to get up at 4am--I hit a certain low energy point in the afternoon, and I have to make a very conscious effort to be patient and interactive rather than snappy and withdrawn. Today was definitely one of those days.

Around 2:15pm, the phone rang...and everything changed.

I saw our agency's name on caller ID, and, honestly, my first thought was, "Oh, no." I was actually afraid that there was another "situation" or problem. (We have had three calls in the last month or so that presented potential referrals that ended up being outside of the request range we felt like God had impressed on us for our family.) My mind raced. As I pressed the button to answer the call, I remember thinking that Terra must have been calling regarding our paperwork questions in relation to our relocation. Maybe that was it.

Instead, Terra greeted us cheerily and stated that she thought they had found a referral that would work perfectly for our family. She gave us some information over the phone (her description for the boys was "absolutely adorable!") and then sent us a huge email with additional information. So here's the great news:

We have been referred two brothers, aged approximately 2 and 6. Unfortunately, I cannot give much information about them on the blog now. Here's how it works: We will send some documents and our final payment to our adoption agency here in the states. In a few weeks, they will inform us of a court date (usually set for about 2 months after referral). On this day in Ethiopia, representatives working with our agency will appear in court on behalf of us and these children. If a judge approves the case, these two boys will officially be Tappers. (At that time, I can share their pictures and more information.) It is important to note that approximately 30% of court cases do not pass at their first court appearance and must be rescheduled. However, we are hoping that we might be able to call these boys ours sometime in May or June. A few short weeks after passing court, we can travel to Ethiopia to pick them up.

Ethan and Abby have been imagining all of the details that will have to be worked out regarding their two new brothers. Here's a sample: (Abby) "I think our little brother will wear diapers, and I will help change him." (Ethan) "I think I can carry our little brother, but he might be heavy." (Abby) "I think this one would like to play trucks." (Ethan) "I could teach this one to ride a horse. Would he be scared? I would hold him tight." (Abby) "I think this is where he lost a tooth." (Ethan) "I will show them how to do lots of things because I know how." Pictures are carefully hung in the kids' room. Abby wanted hers on the ceiling so she could look at it, but Ethan wanted his by his head so he could touch it.

We are thrilled to have precious names and faces to look at, pray for, and dream about. Thank you to all of you who have supported us during the wait. We continue to lean on God, assured that He knows all that our future holds and will be more than enough through it all. Tonight, our hearts our filled with joy! As Isaiah 60 says,

Get out of bed, Jerusalem!

Wake up. Put your face in the sunlight.

God's bright glory has risen for you.

The whole earth is wrapped in darkness,

all people sunk in deep darkness,

But God rises on you, his sunrise glory breaks over you.

Nations will come to your light,

kings to your sunburst brightness.

Look up! Look around!

Watch as they gather, watch as they approach you:

Your sons coming from great distances,

your daughters carried by their nannies.

When you see them coming you'll smile—big smiles!

Your heart will swell and, yes, burst!

I am God. At the right time I'll make it happen.

Amen and amen.

Probably not March

Yesterday, we marked off nine months of waiting since we completed and sent all the necessary adoption paperwork to Ethiopia. Back in June of '08, the estimated wait time for a young sibling group was 3-7 months. Obviously, wait times have increased since then. As we enter into our tenth month of waiting, we are so eager for that day our caseworker from America World, Terra, will call and say, "We have your referral." How we long for her to tell us about two special children halfway around the world! Though their stories of loss will break our hearts, I'm sure, we believe that God is a wonderful Redeemer who can take the broken things of this world and make them new and whole and glorious. We long to see the big, brown eyes and curly hair, now unfamiliar; we will memorize every detail of those pictures in the weeks and months before court, making what we do not know now part of who we will be in times to come. We will dream and speculate about how all four of our children will interact. We will decide what we need to keep of what we have saved and try to figure out what we might need to still get. Our love, now focussed on a vague idea in our minds, will tightly focus and yet somehow expand when we have names and faces at which we can direct it.

Unfortunately, it looks like our wait for that special, long-anticipated day of first contact is still a little ways off. We did receive an email from Terra this week that sensitively clarified that our agency is not yet processing a referral specifically for our family. While this news was disheartening in one sense, it did keep our hearts from racing every time the phone rang, put our minds at rest from the constant pressure of high expectation, allows us to reframe our assumptions and rest for a time.

I found an old hymn that has provided helpful truth on which to let my mind dwell:
Not so in haste my heart!
Have faith in God, and wait;
Although He linger long,
He never comes too late.

He never comes too late;
He knoweth what is best;
Vex not thyself in vain;
Until He cometh, rest.

Until He cometh, rest,
Nor grudge the hours that roll;
The feet that wait for God
Are soonest at the goal.

Are soonest at the goal
That is not gained with speed;
Then hold thee still, my heart,
For I shall wait His lead.

Maybe April will be the month for us to receive that for which we continue to wait??!!??

The Unblinkable Difference

As promised, I am serving up some information that I learned in

my research for my term paper. As I read study after study that sought to quantify the effects of transracial adoption, measuring adoptee's self-esteem levels and factors relating to the development of positive racial identities and the like, they all began to sound rather similar. Generally, those who have been transracially adopted have positive experiences. There are exceptions. There are unique challenges. But generally, studies consistently show transracial adoption serves as a positive means of providing essential care and a sense of belonging to children who might otherwise never be placed in a family.

One journal article that I read, however, presented a unique angle to the transracial adoption debate. The author discussed the reasoning behind the common practice of biological matching within the adoption world. She then compared and contrasted this approach with what occurs in transracial adoptions. She concluded that transracial adoption offers some distinct, though perhaps understated, benefits. Here is what I learned (based largely on J. Swize's article, "Transracial adoption and the unblinkable difference: Racial dissimilarity serving the interests of adopted children" in the 2002 Virginia Law Review):

The obvious racial dissimilarity inherent in families formed by transracial adoption has been termed the “unblinkable difference." It has been proposed that this unmistakable reality actually serves to directly benefit transracially adopted children by facilitating open communication about adoption within families, promoting positive associations with adoptive status and racial identity, explicitly confirming the desirability of a particular child for a particular family, relieving disappointment regarding dissimilarities between parent and child, encouraging acceptance of unique traits and interests, and developing insightfulness regarding family and humanity. Beyond these direct benefits to the child, there may be indirect benefits achieved because of unconventional parental expectations based on the unblinkable difference. Such benefits are linked to the discouragement of unrealistic assumptions of generational similarity, increased awareness of a child’s uniqueness, and greater recognition of the child’s own role in his or her accomplishments.

Reflecting on these proposed benefits gave me hope for our future adopted children; however it also gave me pause and made me analyze how my biological assumptions with my daughter, Abby, and easily assumed biological connections with my white adopted son, Ethan, could actually negatively impact their lives. That was a twist that I had never really considered before!

Finally, I just wanted to report that we received results from Ethan's psychological review. He did tremendously! For a child who did not have the advantages of consistent loving care in his early life and who exhibited obvious developmental delays when joining our family three years ago, how amazing is it that he tested completely average! (maybe even a little above average in some areas--wow!) We praise God for the redemption of lost time! "God can do anything, you know—far more than you could ever imagine or guess or request in your wildest dreams!" --Ephesians 3:20 (The Message)

Planning (with care)

Now listen, you who say, "Today or tomorrow we will go to this or that city, spend a year there, carry on business and make money." Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes. Instead, you ought to say, "If it is the Lord's will, we will live and do this or that. --James 4:13-15

I figure some of you readers out there (whoever you are) might be interested to know some more details of our plans for the future. Admittedly, there is still a significant amount of "coming-together" that has yet to occur, but we continue to sort out what we can and to trust that our sovereign God is working all things together according to His will.

The church has begun the process of a pastoral search. Mike is committed to serving in his current role as pastor through June if that is what works best for the church. Depending on the needs or circumstances of an incoming pastor, the exact timing of the transition may be adjusted earlier or later as necessary.

Where will we go? We have been blessed to be able to move into Mike's grandmother's home near his family. They live close to Canada's capital city of Ottawa. This location will also be a bit closer to my family in Pennsylvania. Granny, a wonderful lady with whom I am so eager to spend time more regularly, has been living with Mike's aunt for several years but has maintained the family home as well. It is a three-bedroom, brick home with lots of character, and will serve our family just fine. It is in town, close to a small park and within walking distance of the local library. There are several grocery store options closeby and even an aquatics center! (Have I mentioned that Ethan has learned to swim with no flotation device?? --just within the last few weeks at the YMCA!)

What will we do? Mike is planning to enter a PhD program in Religious Studies at the University of Ottawa. He also has a few leads on job opportunities, including a position with the company he worked for while he was in seminary. During that time, he provided personalized care within a group home setting to clients with severe autism. Mike found real satisfaction in serving these individuals, and he is excited about the possibility of returning to that same company.

Ethan will be starting school in the fall. In Maine, you are not automatically required to send children when they turn five. Because of the reality of Ethan's developmental delays, we choose to take advantage of this policy. We feel Ethan has made tremendous progress in the last year and would now be ready to start school. However, he will turn six just before the schoolyear starts, and we learned that school policy in our new neighborhood demands that six-year-olds enter first grade. Because we are concerned that his may not be in his best interests, we have been advised to pursue an evaluation by a licensed child psychologist who will determine the best placement for our son. It's really a win-win, I think. If he fails, he gets to go to kindergarten as we think he should. If he passes, WOW!

I will also continue with my classes. Since my degree program is available entirely online, I can continue even across the border. I am really enjoying the program. Currently, I am writing a paper proposing unique ways that the Church can support families who adopt transracially. Maybe I'll share a bit on that topic in a few days.

What else? Fortunately, my permanent resident paperwork is still valid, though its format needs updating. I have sent the necessary documents to receive the new permanent resident card. This not only provides me with legal standing in Canada and the ability to cross the border freely, but it also allows me to work if I choose. Also, we have sent the paperwork to acquire official recognition of Canadian citizenship for both Ethan and Abby.

Another huge issue is the sale of our house. Obviously, we are hoping that the right family will come along to purchase this great home. We think it has so many outstanding features, but we also know that it is a tough time to try to sell a home. We are praying that God will provide just what we need in His time. (Interested in a great place in Maine??? Check out http://www.547nmainbrewer.wetpaint.com/)

How does all of this affect the adoption? Remember the part about the significant "coming-together" that only God knows. That applies strongly here. Home study updates will be required as our living/working conditions change. It is possible that our time to pick up our Ethiopian kiddos will fall at just about the same time as our move...or it is possible that it will be some time after. Canadian immigration has assured us that there will not be any problem for these children to enter the country based on their father-child relationship with a Canadian citizen. There is still some question as to the exact steps necessary to finalize all aspects of North American adoption recognition and citizenship documentation in our unique situation, but, again, I have been assured by our caseworker that there is no problem with our planned arrangement.

I am, of course, extremely eager to receive our referral! Beyond the obvious excitement of seeing our potential children's faces, it will allow us to address other issues of planning. I am sorting closets and other storage spaces in anticipation of a giant yard sale in the spring, but there are many items that I am unsure what to do with. Should I put the cloth diapers and the training potty in the yard sale pile or the keep pile? What about all Abby's old clothes? Will we need the crib, the toddler bed, or more bunkbeds?

Indeed, there is still many details to be worked out, but we continue to plan with care, relying on the assurance that we have a God who is with us all the way.

Gotcha Day Anniversary

Three years ago today, Ethan took a somewhat terrifying taxi ride away from his orphanage home. A lot has changed since then...

Good Fun in the Sun (with lots of Snow, too!)

The Tapper family took advantage of a beautiful Sunday afternoon and headed outside for some winter fun. We used the snowman kit that the kids got for Christmas to create a Mr. Snowman, but one snowman is never enough! So we made a few more friends!




Things have been pretty busy for us lately. Traveling for Gramma's funeral, preparing for our future move, and watching the progress with our adoption agency has kept us in high gear.
We hope to have very exciting news to share on the adoption front within the next few weeks!!

Getting Closer

Tomorrow marks eight months since our paperwork has been in Ethiopia. While the wait has been longer than originally anticipated, we are definitely making progress. Several recent referrals from our agency have bumped us up "in line." According to the listmakers on our adoptive family Yahoo Group, the Tappers are actually next for a sibling group referral and in the "Top 10" for a single referral. (If no sibling groups were available for referral, our agency has stated that is is "very probable" that we could receive a single referral and then request another slightly older unrelated child.)

All that to say that we do expect a referral phone call from our agency in the next month or so. I must admit that I go back and forth between feelings of excitement about being so close and feelings of despair at not knowing. Throw in a little stress from moving considerations, schoolwork, travel arrangements, etc. and AGAIN, I realize how much work God has to do in me. My prayer is that I will be constantly moving toward the Spirit-led life described by Paul:

Live freely, animated and motivated by God's Spirit. Then you won't feed the compulsions of selfishness. For there is a root of sinful self-interest in us that is at odds with a free spirit, just as the free spirit is incompatible with selfishness. These two ways of life are antithetical, so that you cannot live at times one way and at times another way according to how you feel on any given day. Why don't you choose to be led by the Spirit and so escape the erratic compulsions of a law-dominated existence?

It is obvious what kind of life develops out of trying to get your own way all the time: repetitive, loveless, cheap sex; a stinking accumulation of mental and emotional garbage; frenzied and joyless grabs for happiness; trinket gods; magic-show religion; paranoid loneliness; cutthroat competition; all-consuming-yet-never-satisfied wants; a brutal temper; an impotence to love or be loved; divided homes and divided lives; small-minded and lopsided pursuits; the vicious habit of depersonalizing everyone into a rival; uncontrolled and uncontrollable addictions; ugly parodies of community. I could go on.

This isn't the first time I have warned you, you know. If you use your freedom this way, you will not inherit God's kingdom.

But what happens when we live God's way? He brings gifts into our lives, much the same way that fruit appears in an orchard—things like affection for others, exuberance about life, serenity. We develop a willingness to stick with things, a sense of compassion in the heart, and a conviction that a basic holiness permeates things and people. We find ourselves involved in loyal commitments, not needing to force our way in life, able to marshal and direct our energies wisely.

Legalism is helpless in bringing this about; it only gets in the way. Among those who belong to Christ, everything connected with getting our own way and mindlessly responding to what everyone else calls necessities is killed off for good—crucified.

Since this is the kind of life we have chosen, the life of the Spirit, let us make sure that we do not just hold it as an idea in our heads or a sentiment in our hearts, but work out its implications in every detail of our lives.

Where were you...?

Three years ago today, we were in Kiev, Ukraine, awaiting an appointment at the National Adoption Center. The center had been closed by the government for some time, and although we had heard rumors that President Yuschenko was going to use his executive power to authorize its reopening, we were still a bit up in the air. As you know, he did sign the bill, and on February 2, in a small, overcrowded office, we saw the first picture of our son.

As we wait with our Ethiopian adoption, I am reminded again of the crazy uncertainties of international adoption. Many families adopting through our agency have had serious delays relating to court in recent weeks. Sometimes government paperwork simply does not show up. Other times, rules are changed without any notification of new requirements to the agencies trying to process adoptions. This week, the government department that deals with adoptions moved offices and decided not to do any other work -- without any notice. There are a few families working through our agency whose children have been at the transition home since last summer. These remarkable families continue to trust that God will bring their families together in His time. Please pray for them as they endure the frustrations of uncontrollable setbacks and terribly challenging wait times.

As for our own process, communication with our agency this week has confirmed our request for two children 0-6. Although they will not specifically reveal our "number in line" for a referral, the general range of top 10-15 was suggested. In January, our agency was hopping with referrals (I think the total for the month was at least 20), but there are absolutely no guarantees that that rate will continue. However, with a top 10-15 spot, we're hoping for a referral in the next month or two. Families getting referrals now are having court dates set for April or May, so it seems that there is an approximately 3 month delay between referral and families' first chance at court. So where are you going to be this summer???

Another month gone by

Today marks the completion of seven months of waiting since our paperwork went to Ethiopia. While we eagerly anticipate the day when we will receive a call about a referral, we wholly trust our great God, in his perfect providence, is writing a beautiful story for the formation of our family.

As I wrote that last sentence, I was reminded that, in the Bible, "7" often represents completion or perfection. I've been thinking alot lately about how God doesn't merely desire to make us happy, but to make us holy. I know this wait is challenging me to see parts of myself that are not so holy! May God continue to make me more like himself.

On another note, some of you have admitted that you're a little inexperienced with the world of blogging and have wondered about the possibility of responding to my posts. If you would like to do so, please note the line at the bottom of each blog entry that goes something like this: Posted by KLT.... # comments

If you just click on the word comments, another page will open with a space available for you to type whatever you would like to say in response, fill in the additional identifying info, and publish it by clicking the button at the bottom. I'd love to hear from you!!!

Adoption Overview

For those of you who may not be completely familiar with the process of international adoption or who are new to our blog, I thought it might be helpful if I shared an overview of the adoption process. Here are the basics of our experience:

We applied to America World Adoption Agency in November 2007 and were accepted into their Ethiopia program. This began the paper-chasing phase of the adoption process. Employment verification, insurance letters, identification documents, home study, background checks, and personal references were all gathered, notarized, and certified. This paperwork, called a dossier, was shipped to Ethiopia on June 13, 2008 -- our DTE (dossier to Ethiopia date). Read about the emotions of this here.

Our "ticker" at the top of the blog counts the time since our DTE. We are now waiting for a referral. A referral is when we (the adoptive family) is matched up with an orphan or orphan group. Our paperwork includes approval for two children up to age 6. Referral wait times can be hard to predict, especially with any request outside the more common infant referral. Our agency has suggested that others with similar DTE's as ours might be able to expect a referral in March or April. If no sibling groups have come available by that time, we may be given the opportunity to accept a referral for a single child.

After we accept a referral, AWAA staff in Ethiopia will pursue the legal end of things. We will be assigned a court date. We are cautioned, however, that approximately 30% of cases are not successful on their first appearance in court (often due to an outside organizations's failure to produce necessary paperwork). If we fail to pass court, a new court date will be assigned, usually several weeks later. Only after a successful court case can pictures of and information about any referred child(ren) be shared publicly.

Mike and I will travel to Ethiopia a few short weeks after passing court. We will be in Ethiopia for approximately one week. We will stay in Addis Ababa at a small hotel. All AWAA referred children live at a "transition home" in the city. At this home, we will meet for the first time. A day or so later, we will officially take custody and finalize any more paperwork necessary to come home together.

Then begins the challenge of learning to live together. . . This can be a difficult time for many families. As we approach this new year, we ask for your sensitivity and prayers. The waiting period provides little certainty and can be quite emotional and stressful. A referral may raise hopes, but also anxiety and longing. Finally, the demands of reorienting our family after placement will be great. Thank you to all our wonderful family and friends who we know will support us graciously through the coming months! Your care and concern mean so much!

Hope this helps to clarify the process for any newcomers!

Choirs, Cuties, and Continuing to Count

Our church Christmas choir presentation went very well this past weekend. Here's a little collage to give you a taste of our experience.

Just for fun this morning, the kids got dressed up and we did portraits at the house. Fun!

Also, we have passed the 6 month mark since shipping our big stack of paperwork to Ethiopia (that's 13 months since we started this adoption journey!) Can't wait to bring home our own Timbits!

Court Successes

For those of you following our adoption process, there was some wonderful news for two other families today. Held back from uniting with their children due to court closures during the summer, these families were also denied when court reopened due to changes in the paperwork requirements. However, today--a day earlier than expected--both families passed court! This is especially exciting for our family to watch as both of these families are adopting young sibling groups.

Check out the families at http://www.romans815.wordpress.com/

and http://www.family-from-afar.blogspot.com/

Also, just because it is fall and beautiful in Maine:

Three Months Waiting Today!

We have officially endured three months of waiting. Sometimes it seems like the days/hours/minutes are just barely crawling by. Other times, I look back and wonder where the time has gone. Today, the hardest part of waiting is all the unknowns. We do not know when we may receive a referral call. The projected wait times put forth by our agency (based on the wait times of those who recently received their referrals) cover the following timeframes: 1) for an infant girl -- 7-9 months; for an infant boy -- 5-7 months; for a toddler or preschool child -- 6-12 months; for a young sibling group -- 5-7 months. According to these figures, we can presume that we might get a call in November, December, or January. It is possible that our agency would let us know about the availability of a single child before a sibling group becomes available. We would be permitted to accept this single child or to decline that referral and continue to wait for a sibling group. So we do not know when we will get a referral or when we will travel. We do not know if we will be offered one or two children. We do not know whether they will be boys or maybe a girl. We do not know how old they will be.

In the midst of my un-knowing, I cling to One Who Knows.

"Lord, You have looked through me and have known me. You know when I sit down and when I get up. You understand my thoughts from far away. You look over my path and my lying down. You know all my ways very well. Even before I speak a word, O Lord, You know it all. You have closed me in from behind and in front. And You have laid Your hand upon me. All You know is too great for me. It is too much for me to understand." Psalm 139:1-6 (New Life Version)

Blessed are You, O Lord my God, King of the Universe. Thank You for Your care for me.