Tuesday, March 16, 2010

Roller Coaster Week

Adoptive parents often talk about the roller coaster effect. Many couples felt it monthly if their adoption journey was preceeded by the experience of infertility. The adoption process itself often has unexpected bumps and turns. And, certainly, learning to live together as a family with a new arrival produces its own high, lows, and wild twists. Sometimes, I wonder if the roller coaster effect isn't just the nature of life.

In any case, the past week with Andrew has certainly lived up to my roller coaster standards. To be quite honest, I don't want to share the lows or unexpected twists with the whole world--some of these hard things are part of his personal story. I'm only going to show you a fun, high point. However, I don't want to feed the misconceptions that all adoptees need is a little love, that there's a simple formula, or that you reach some point of having overcome all the issues. One of the articles I read this week appropriately accentuated both the challenges and rewards inherent in adoptive parenting:

...it is well established that children impacted by adoption or foster care have suffered some sort of loss and as a result are more likely to struggle with a variety of quiestions and issues relating to that loss. With so much seemingly working against these children and those who love them, it may be tempting to feel defeated and believe there is little hope. Do not despair -- there is hope! . . . research and experience makes clear that children can make tremendous strides in overcoming these challenges -- and you [adoptive parents] are God's plan to make this happen. . . . [Therefore], become a healer for your children, and in so doing rediscover the joy in parenting and caring for them while at the same time allowing them to fulfill all that God has called them to be and to do. (Read the full article here.)

A High Point: Mastering the two-wheeler!!!

Thank you, Andrew, for sharing your joy in this with me! I love you!

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