Tapper family blog

Les Livres du Lundi

2012-01-30T13:31:00.002-05:00

This week, in my readings, I finished Alan F. Johnson’s collection, entitled How I Changed My Mind About Women In Leadership. This book offers the personal testimonies of various evangelical leaders, specifically in reference to their patterns of thinking regarding an affirmation of women’s leadership among Christian ministries. When I first saw this book promoted by the “Christians for Biblical Equality” organization, I was intrigued by its premise. Rather than necessarily advancing theological arguments surrounding the issue (though the book certainly presents many), How I Changed My Mind provides personal narratives, accounts of individuals’ life experiences which motivated more egalitarian understandings.

In my opinion, the most moving story is that of Gilbert Bilizikian, a Professor Emeritus of Wheaton College. Bilizikian describes his childhood as a displaced Armenian Christian, his experiences living in France during WWII and serving with the French military, albeit reluctantly, in the Algerian War, and his exposure to Middle Eastern turmoil and the viewpoints of Palestinian refugees while teaching in Lebanon. He acknowledges that these life experiences have coalesced to make him “cautious about the easy acceptance of entitlements, responsibilities, and privilege that claim for justification the incidences of destiny such as birth, gender, class, color, or race” rather than the biblical expectations of “appropriate qualifications and spiritually derived abilities” (p. 85).

Other testimonies, such as those by Bonnie Zurhbacher, John G. Stackhouse, Jr., Ronald J. Sider, Stanley N. Gundry, and Bill and Lynne Hybels, provide considerable food for thought. Moreover, I appreciated the conclusion of John Ortberg:

I think many of us who are convinced of an egalitarian ideology still have a
ways to go in our thinking and behaving so that we’re actually living up to what
we say we believe. How often do I allow the “male prerogative,” which still so
often operates in churches and in culture in general, to cover up what is simply
laziness or selfishness on my part? How often do I claim to believe in equality,
but what I’m really angling for is my own advantage?

As a Christian who has grown up in a branch of the evangelical church that has shown sensitivity to issues of women’s leadership (however imperfectly) and who has come to believe in equality as a Biblical ideal, I also still see areas of my life and thinking that do not quite line up with my ideological claims. This book was a helpful encouragement and clarification of these issues. While I am aware that this matter can be divisive among Christians, I think that the personal testimonies in this volume offer a unique perspective that can benefit all evangelicals.

Jadon’s Pick of the Week is A Bargain for Frances by Russell Hoban. This delightful story, with its important lesson on friendship and unselfishness, is a true classic. A couple other favorites from the library this week were A Mink, a Fink, a Skating Rink: What is a Noun? by Brian P. Cleary and Our Stories, Our Songs: African Children Talk About AIDS by Deborah Ellis. Our older children have been especially intrigued by the latter, with its short and simple stories in the words of African children whose lives have been changed because of disease and poverty. I even noticed Andrew reading a bit for himself in between the action of the NHL All-Star Game this weekend.

Happy Reading!

Favorite Things

2012-01-28T21:04:00.006-05:00

We have a few new things in the Tapper house that we really love…and I want to share about them.

1) Heart-shaped silicone muffin tins
Muffins are a favorite in our house. They are most often consumed as an after-school snack or a bedtime snack. Most requested flavors include banana, cocoa zucchini, strawberry, maple, and blueberry. I love the heart-shaped muffin forms that can be found at our local dollar store around Valentine’s Day. These are a bit of a smaller size than your typical muffin tin, which is great for making more muffins for little hands. Also, the silicone is so easy to care for and muffin removal is an absolute breeze!

2) Africa Sleeps head caps
We just purchased two sleep caps for the boys and are absolutely pleased with this product. With winter upon us, fleecy hats and tight-fitting hockey helmets could do a number on our African boys’ hair. These caps are great for slipping under a hat or helmet and they are also tremendous for reducing the frizz caused by the rubbing of the boys’ hair against their pillow or sheets.

3) Pocketboard tutorial
Since none of our children have bedside tables, I was looking for something to help them store all their “stuff” that was, inevitably, ending up scattered throughout their beds—mp3 players, books, pencils and notebooks, etc. I found this tutorial and got to work on individualized pockets for each of the kids. I am quite pleased with the results, and so are they!

4) Cooperative games
We now have a little collection of games from a company called Family Pastimes (actually located not far from here) that focuses on cooperative rather than competitive play. Players work together to solve problems or accomplish tasks, pooling resources and coming to consensus on the best strategies. Each game is unique and really fun to play. (We also like LEGO Creationary which can be played in a cooperative manner, where players set a time limit and take turns building as many of the indicated objects as possible for the rest of the players to guess.) I would highly recommend these games as gifts for any family!

5) Cozy Sacs
Each child in our family now has their own cozy chair. We use these foam-filled “bean bag” chairs especially for family devotion times, allowing each child to have his or her own space. (In other words, we find they help to reduce the distractions during bedtime Bible reading and prayers!) We had originally ordered the company’s 3-foot chairs, but, upon arrival, they turned out to be much too big for our space. Disappointed, we contacted the company about the situation. They were incredibly helpful. They offered to send new inserts and covers for their smallest-sized chairs and requested that we return the larger covers at our convenience. We were able to use the foam stuffing from the inside of the four gigantic chairs to stuff the new, smaller bags. These have become a favorite spot to settle down or even to curl up and have a nap—a great product from a company with great service!

These are some of our favorite things!

Celebrating!

2012-01-24T20:48:00.006-05:00

Count those candles! Our family celebrated Andrew's 9th birthday today!

It is hard for me to communicate how proud I am of this boy. Even in the last few weeks, as I have seen him grow in new ways, I am amazed to be a part of his story over these last two years and a few months. For example, Andrew has offered unprompted apologies twice in the last couple weeks. This may seem like a small thing...but sincere apologies from a boy who spent a good piece of his early years geared for survival much more than moral development is a big deal to me! For the most part, Andrew loves to do the right thing. When he gets "caught" for something inappropriate, however, he has been prone to lock into "shame mode," which involves raising up strong defenses for self. For him to break out of that in order to offer an apology shows substantial growth in emotional empathy, moral development, self-worth, and trust.

What else can I tell you about our biggest boy? Well, he absolutely loves his hockey! He has been playing steady defense for the Aylmer Vikings this season. He is a determined player and an eager learner. He has shown a strong character in both winning and losing, too. The backyard rink also provides hours of fun for Andrew.

Andrew loves to talk and laugh (and talk and joke and talk and ask questions and talk...), and his siblings love when he plays with them. He is certainly a well-looked-up-to big brother! As you can see in this picture, Abby especially adores him!

Andrew is a hard-working student in Grade 3 this year. This is his first year in the French Immersion program. Making this transition has not been easy for Andrew, but he continues to work very hard and is glad to be making progress. He got 100% on his last two dictées, and he is picking up multiplication very quickly!

We call Andrew our Champ because we see him as one who is willing to take on whatever challenges present themselves and to just keep on fighting through--whatever it takes. Just today, he got a tough hit in gym class volleyball and ended up with a tooth nearly through his upper lip -- note the lopsided smile below :) -- but he was mostly concerned, not with the pain, but with stopping the bleeding so that he could get back in the game. That's Andrew.

Happy Birthday, Champ! You are dearly loved!

Sundays are for Adventures!

2012-01-22T17:18:00.001-05:00

Four-year-old Creativity?

2012-01-18T07:50:00.002-05:00

What I found on the back door yesterday morning:

Les Livres du Lundi

2012-01-16T18:39:00.004-05:00

While I have been reading a couple fascinating books, I am not ready to write about them yet. Instead, I thought I'd just share a few pics of the kids enjoying a certain genre--the look and find book. For Christmas, the children received several of these books. We also find them at our public library regularly. The favorite series there are Ou est Charlie? and La Famille Oukile.

Happy Reading (or finding!)

Wordless Wednesday

2012-01-11T20:58:00.001-05:00

Pies!

2012-01-10T08:52:00.002-05:00

Inspired by this family and directed by our church's current Sunday School compassion program, yesterday, we spent our last day of the holiday break (yes! the kids just went back to school today!) making pies in order to raise some money for families around the world with so much less than ours.

It was quite fun to pull aside one child as the others played together and let them decide on their own pie design, to work together--measuring, cutting, rolling. The oven worked all afternoon. And, after supper, we donned our coats and boots and presented our cause and baked goodies to the neighborhood, coming home with a bit of money in our pockets that will be gladly given in church this Sunday.

Sell your possessions and give to the poor. Provide purses for yourselves that will not wear out, a treasure in heaven that will never fail, where no thief comes near and no moth destroys. Luke 12:33

Les Livres du Lundi

2012-01-09T18:55:00.000-05:00

I sincerely enjoyed reading the novel, Cutting for Stone, by Abraham Verghese, before Christmas. For me, there were several factors that enhanced its appeal. First, the story is largely set in Ethiopia, and many of the contextual details had a certain familiarity to me—if not from direct personal experience, then from research related to the birthland of two sons. Second, the novel’s handling of medical issues was absolutely fascinating. Finally, throughout the wildly entertaining plot, the characters and their circumstances never fail to maintain their believability, offering perspective on life that challenges the reader to examine his or herself as well.

The Indian in the Cupboard was recently completed as our family read-aloud. The children found this to be a fastastically amusing book, and I soon found myself listening to mono-syllabic “Little Bear” talk throughout the day. There is plenty of suspense in this childhood favorite, and I was often begged to keep reading at the close of a chapter! I am not sure that the book's ending was particularly satisfying to my young ones, but they won’t forget the idea of a magic cupboard and key and the possibility of real live miniatures any time soon.

Sundays are for Teaching What You Love

2012-01-08T14:26:00.003-05:00

Christmas Photo Catch-Up

2012-01-02T21:39:00.012-05:00

We are having a wonderful Christmas season! Christmas day was so much fun! We heard the pattering feet upstairs early in the morning and soon had four eager youngsters surrounding our bed. Mike had covered the living room door with wrapping paper and taped it shut tight, creating a mood for much anticipation. After unwrapping the door, the children rushed in and headed straight for....their stockings! It wasn't until the had unloaded their stockings that they noticed their unwrapped gifts behind the couch. Someone asked, "What's that big thing behind the couch?" When the discovered the musical instruments (electronic drums, bass guitar, hand drums, and half size acoustic guitar), they had a great time taking turns and making music. What a delight to provide our children with the opportunity to be creative. (It was very meaningful to hear Andrew later in the living room by himself, wailing away on the drums while spontaneously creating his own Christmas worship songs which were sung at the top of his lungs!!!)

Christmas day also included time in worship with our church community and shared time with nearby family. Then, the next day, we packed the van to head for some special time with my family in Pennsylvania. We had lots of time to play with cousin Adi (very, very cute!), Uncle Dave, Aunt Alaina, Pappy, and Gramma plus lots of extended family, too. We also got to visit a science center and the PeepsFest!

We traveled back to Canada on New Year's Day, and Monday provided a great day for rink-building. The Tapper Ice will soon be holding open skates--and all blog readers are free to bring your own skates and join us any time!!!! What a great way to enjoy the rest of our holiday! (School does not start until next Monday!) Check out today's progress (with the help of Grampsie, Nanny, and Auntie Jenn):

We certainly have a sense of peace and blessing as we come through this holiday season. We look forward to what this year will bring and, hopefully, to many opportunities to share our blessings with others in the coming days.

Winter Wackiness

2011-12-23T17:43:00.001-05:00

Winter is officially here. Of course, here in Canada, winter weather is expected much before the end of December. I heard someone say that Canada does indeed have four seasons; they are 1) Almost Winter, 2) Winter, 3) Still Winter, and 4) Construction. (hee, hee, hee….still makes me laugh!) However, after many years in northern climates, I have come to the conclusion that my body is just not made for this kind of weather. I have several quirks that I have noticed in relation to the colder weather.

First, my fingers and toes go into revolt when the cold comes. I have increasing episodes of numbness and constricted circulation, especially in my fingers, during the winter months. Though this can easily happen during prolonged outdoor activities, it has often occurred indoors, too. I’ve read about Raynaud’s Syndrome online, but I don’t actually have a doctor’s diagnosis…just a pretty strong motivation to buy good boots and mittens, to layer up, and to stay as warm as possible!

Second, my sleep is definitely affected by temperature. Mike and I purchased our wonderful California King sized bed a couple of years ago when we moved to Quebec. We love it and the great nights of sleep it offers! We also love piling on the blankets when the weather turns cool. Right now, our bed sports our polar fleece sheets (a must for winter sleeping!), a thin fuzzy blanket, a down comforter, a bedspread, and a quilt with flannel backing. Still, curled up in bed under all those cozy covers, I often cannot fall asleep until I perform one warmth-saving activity. I actually must tuck my pajama pants bottoms into my socks so there’s no draft on my legs—or else sleep eludes me!

Finally, I have noticed that my weight seems to change with the weather. I am not actually sure if this is weather-related. It could be that the cold makes me shiver a lot. It could be conditioning from being raised in a family in which wrestling demanded certain food changes as the sport’s season commenced. It could be that I am busy with holiday preparations and just tend to eat less this time of year. But I’ve noticed for several years now that I tend to shed a few pounds just as winter begins to bring its chill—usually bringing my lowest weigh-ins of the year. (This phenomenon does provide a delightful freedom to indulge in all kinds of special Christmas treats!)

The kids are well aware of my aversion to the cold. It came up in conversation recently. Andrew vehemently declared, “Mom does not like winter because she does not like the cold.” Ethan followed up with this: “What Mom likes about winter is skating and Jesus’ birthday.” “And making really big snow angels!” said Abby.

Indeed, I won’t escape winter. And I might as well find some things in it that I do enjoy.
And I’ll definitely be keeping my wool socks, insulated underwear, ski mittens, and -40° boots. Oh, and I do love a good quilt wrapping near a fireplace, too!

Wordless Wednesday

2011-12-21T21:04:00.000-05:00

Les Livres du Lundi

2011-12-20T20:26:00.002-05:00

This week, I have read Three Cups of Tea by Greg Mortenson and David Oliver Relin. For me, personally, I found this book to provide glimpses of insight into another culture, another perspective, but also a lot of slow storytelling. It was a hard book for me to try to get through...especially in the snipet style of reading that I often end up using. Still, I would recommend this book for someone who is looking for another way of seeing an unfamiliar part of the world. It is the story of one man's unexpected quest to build schools in remote villages of Pakistan.

As for the kids, Jadon's Pick of the Week is Curious George: The Donut Delivery. Jadon has a fondness for the curious little monkey, and he loves when we can find an unread book at the library. When I asked him about why this was his favorite this week, he said, "I liked it because he didn't know what a dozen meant. He thought it meant only one donut. He found out that there's a lot of donuts because of zeros!"

Other favorites from our library bag this week included the following reads:
Magic Paintbrush by Robin Muller
Don't Let the Pigeon Drive the Bus by Mo Williams
The Bookstore Burglar by Barbara Maitland (which Abby read aloud herself!)
Suzy Goose and the Christmas Star by Petr Horacek

Happy Reading!

Sundays are for Snuggles and Smiles

2011-12-18T20:22:00.003-05:00

'Tis the Season...

2011-12-17T20:34:00.000-05:00

Lesson from the Laundry

2011-12-07T21:15:00.004-05:00

There is certainly a lot to do this time of year. Christmas can be busy.

But I have been challenged this year to not only get things done, but also to cultivate awareness of my being in the midst of the scurrying. To be purposeful not only in writing lists and getting to events and completing tasks but also in checking attitudes and creating atmosphere and being well.

The effect of this resonated with me today as I did the laundry.

You see, laundry is a big task at our house. I mean, at least, that there is a lot of it. And it is one of those things that just has to get done regularly. Day in and day out, baskets of wash are sent down to the basement, dirty and stinky and crumpled, only to rise again clean and fresh.

Only, lately, the process hadn’t been happening so smoothly. Our 14-year-old dryer was not cooperating. It wasn’t that it didn’t get hot enough. It wasn’t that it refused to tumble. In those ways, the dryer seemed to function just fine. But, somehow, Mr. Dryer had developed an appetite for clothes. A tiny bit of underwear here. A little nibble of T-shirt there. An attempted swallowing of the drawstring from a pair of pajamas. I began to fear opening the dryer door. What might be trapped, scorched, between the drum and its casing? What favored piece of clothing might now bear the scars of laundering?

We started hunting for a replacement. Despite the complication of a small-sized basement door, we were able to locate a used Kenmore dryer in great condition. With assistance from Grampsie and Nanny, their pick-up truck and handiness with the screwdrivers, the replacement dryer made its way to our home and down through the narrow basement stairs. And it works. It dries our clothes without adding any holes or brown markings to remember the process by.

As I approach the dryer, I no longer sense anxiety, only thankfulness. Suddenly, I am grateful. I am joy-filled, even. This chore has been transformed because I have come to be something new. I still have to do lots of laundry, but it feels completely different.

So, I’m contemplating how my Advent might be different if I took the time to notice how I do all the things I do. At one point today, I checked in with myself—How am I right now?—and I realized that I was being hurried. That wasn’t my intention. And when I stopped to think about it, there wasn’t a really good reason for me to be that way at all. I decided then and there that I would be at peace instead. Then I continued about my day with a whole new approach, still doing but feeling completely different through it.

May I carry this lesson from the laundry basket through Advent this year!

Come, thou long-expected Jesus,
born to set thy people free;
from our fears and sins release us,
let us find our rest in thee.

Advent Thought

2011-12-06T21:55:00.001-05:00

"The intensity and strain that many of us bring to Christmas must suggest to some onlookers that, on the whole, Christians do not seem to have gotten the point of it. Probably few of us have the faith or the nerve to tamper with hallowed Christmas traditions on a large scale, or with our other holiday celebrations. But a small experiment might prove interesting. What if, instead of doing something, we were to be something special? Be a womb. Be a dwelling for God. Be surprised." --Loretta Ross-Gotta

Les Livres du Lundi

2011-12-05T13:15:00.000-05:00

Jadon’s Pick of the Week is Dewey’s Christmas at the Library by Vicki Myron. Jadon says, “I like Dewey since she’s funny. I like the picture’s since they’re cool. My favorite part is when she surrounds the Christmas tree with yarn.”

We had several other honourable selections from the library this week. Swamp Angel (Anne Isaacs) is a fabulous tall tale that entertains children and adults alike with the outlandish exploits of a Tennessee maiden named Angelica and an enormous bear named Thundering Tarnation.

The Widow’s Broom (Chris Van Allsburg) delighted our older children with its lively storytelling and, of course, the secret twist at the end.

Owly and Wormy, Friends All Aflutter (Andy Runton) is a spectacular wordless (at least almost wordless) book. The children all really enjoyed figuring out what was happening in all the pictures in order to “tell” the story themselves! The pictures really are fabulous, and the predictable yet sweetly-conveyed plot makes most anyone smile.

Finally, we have really been digging into the “Benjamin” series by Paulette Bourgeois—the French variation of a Tapper favorite: the Franklin the turtle series. These are great for expanding our French vocabularies!

5 Quick Reasons to Be a Bad Blogger

2011-11-30T20:46:00.007-05:00

1) Citizenship Paperwork—Andrew and Jadon were eligible to apply for US citizenship based on my parentage, but putting in an application for adopted children from outside the US proved to be a complex process. Finally, however, on Monday, November 21, 2011, an official in Bedford, NH interviewed us and presented the boys with certificates of citizenship. (He said he was thankful for our case because it actually taught him something!) I am just thankful that this final paperwork hurdle is done!

Andrew and Jadon crossing the border to the USA, anticipating their citizenship interview

And that leads me to my next point…

2) Thanksgiving—After leaving New Hampshire (where we stayed with an amazing AWAA adoptive family with four similarly-aged kids and really cool parents—Thanks, Steigers!), we were able to travel on to Pennsylvania for American Thanksgiving with my family. This was a special time for all! Much love to Gramma and Pappy!

The Tapper and Steiger kids: fast friends

(Too much excitement to get many pictures with Gramma and Pappy!)

3) Mike’s Comprehensive Exams—While we were gone, Mike wrote Part 1 of his PhD exams, and then he completed Part 2—an oral defense—today! His hard work paid off as he did very well (HOORAY, DADDY!), and the other five Tappers also worked hard to give Daddy all the time and space required for this big accomplishment.

Perhaps all that brain-work puts stress on the scalp? Notice any similarities appearing here?

On a much less exciting note…

4) Tonsillitis—Abby’s got it. Again. Ugh. She ends up with throat infections every 6-8 weeks. This has been going on for about 2 years. She has finally been approved for a tonsillectomy, but there is a waiting list. In the meantime, we continue to deal with nuisance sicknesses.

Back to the good stuff…

5) Advent—We love this time of year! At this point, my children really cherish traditions (especially Andrew, perhaps because he is still making sure he understands his place and how things work here)…and I appreciate that they care about these things. Planning and getting things together does take some extra time, though. We have already been lighting our Advent Wreath during family meals and have cut and decorated our Christmas tree. We are also using a Jesse Tree devotional to walk through the Biblical story as we journey toward Christmas.

Looking for a Christmas tree!

So that’s the extras that have put blogging on a bit of a back burner the last couple weeks. Sorry! Now, hopefully, we can get back to “normal” again!

What do you mean this isn't normal??!!!??

Les Livres du Lundi

2011-11-14T20:24:00.003-05:00

Admittedly, my reading this week has not been particularly deep. I did, however, complete my first French chapter book: “Alerte a la ferme!” by Soraya Benhaddad. Reading in French is still quite a stretch for me, so even this easy reader contained quite a few unfamiliar words and phrases. Despite my limitations, I understood the general plot of a new mother hen, quick—at first--to dismiss the kind advances of the other farm animals in favor of her own motherly instincts, who learns the hard way that it takes more than just herself to take care of her young.

Jadon could not determine just one pick of the week, so, today, we have The Top Three of the Week! I have to say I agree—he has found three great reads!

First, “Nicolas, where have you been?” tells the engrossing tale of a young mouse who sets off to best the birds at berry-hunting, only to be both captured and then cared for by other birds. Its simple story-telling and pictures really captured Jadon’s attention, and he got the implicit message of peace-making and mutual understanding. Jadon put it this way: “He was actually thinking to tell them that the birds ARE nice.”

Next, “I Ain’t Gonna Paint No More” by Karen Beaumont is a hilarious and capricious look at one boy’s obsession with painting. The rhyming text and progressive storyline allows children to finish the phrase with the next body part to be (gasp!) painted. Jadon says, “It’s so funny! The pictures make me giggle. I especially like when he says, ‘What?!?’” (Which is, of course, in place of terminology for the backside body part that would rhyme with that word….)

Finally, Jadon found the classic “Make Way for Ducklings” by Robert McCloskey to be a “surprise” hit. I say “surprise” because, when we first brought the bag of library books home, Jadon could hardly be convinced to open this one’s cover. But once we did, he loved the story. This is his take on this favorite: “I like it since it’s funny. All the ducklings rhyme. At first, I didn’t like it because the pictures weren’t coloured. I didn’t realize it was gonna be cool, and they were gonna find an island.”

Happy Reading!

Sundays are for Exploring

2011-11-13T18:34:00.000-05:00

What Did You Do With Your Jack-o-lantern?

2011-11-08T20:16:00.004-05:00

Following the example of a neighbor friend whose delicious-looking/smelling pumpkin muffins provided ample motivation, I cooked up our jack-o-lanterns this year. Why had I never thought of doing this before?

I was able to cut two jack-o-lanterns (into four or five pieces each) and squeeze the pumpkin parts into our large electric roaster oven. I let them roast for a couple hours until they were very soft. Then I scraped the flesh from the skin and mashed it in a large bowl. I repeated the process with our remaining two jack-o-lanterns.

This gave me A LOT of pumpkin puree! It was definitely time to pull out some favorite pumpkin recipes. This week, we've had Pumpkin Chocolate Chip Bundt Cake, Wild Mushroom and Pumpkin Risotto, and Pumpkin Carrot Swirl Bars (modified with dairy-free substitutes, of course!).

Meanwhile, there was still A LOT of pumpkin puree! After a little of investigative web-hunting, I decided to use my silicone muffin cups to make frozen half-cup portions of pumpkin for future use. (I call these my pumpkin pucks because, removed from the cups and stored in the freezer, they look like a bunch of orange hockey pucks!) I think I have about 24 cups of pumpkin in my freezer, and I am excited to keep exploring our pumpkin potential!

Les Livres du Lundi

2011-11-07T20:52:00.003-05:00

This week, I finished a collection of refugee interviews called "Children of War" by Deborah Ellis. This was a sobering read, giving voice to the terrible experiences of child refugees from Iraq who are currently living in either Jordan or Canada. I was reminded how often I take safety and privacy and choice and a peaceful, quiet neighborhood for granted.

I also started a few other (diverse) reads. "Invisible Chains" by Benjamin Perrin explores human trafficking in Canada. "Unbroken Covenant with God" is an autobiography of Ethiopian church leader Markina Meja. "Sacred Marriage" by Gary Thomas asks how reframing marriage as, primarily, a holiness journey rather than a happiness provider might transform how we approach life and marriage. I think I've got a lot of ground to cover with these!

Jadon's Pick of the week is "Flags of the World" by Sylvie Bednar. If you don't know, Jadon has a significant appreciation for all things geographical. He is fascinated by globes and maps. (I once took him into a store on Wellington in Ottawa called World of Maps, and he was in his glory--would have stayed for hours, I'm sure!) He loves to find the 2 (!) pages in this book devoted to the Ethiopian flag and to compare and contrast the colours and patterns of all the different flags.

Happy Reading!

Jadon Loves the Science Museum

2011-11-06T20:39:00.009-05:00

One of THOSE Days...

2011-11-01T20:58:00.007-04:00

It started off with scrambling to put together lunches, having completely scorched the forgotten pasta that had been the planned main course for the lunchboxes. Then there was the late morning trip to the basement freezer that revealed a slightly dislodged electrical plug--and a lot of unusable food.

Fortunately, I have my daily encouragement from Abby in the form of notes and crafty creations, fashioned during free time at school. Today, she brought home the very cute family portrait below. (Note the greeting: Mom you oer the best Mom in the hol wrld.)

(This note came a few days ago. Here's my translation for those of you who may not be proficient in "Kid-ish:" "Mom, You are a very nice Mom and a good sharer and a very! very! nice! Mom!")

Moreover, I read in Revelation this morning about the church at Philadelphia...about how they kept God's word--even in weakness--and didn't deny His name; about how they were called to "hold on to what you have" as God's love for them was displayed and their patient endurance was evident. This also reminded me of a phrase from Scripture that I discovered this summer: "Christ Jesus might display his unlimited patience" (1 Timothy 1:16, emphasis mine). I find it very compelling to consider that if I am truly in Christ, then, in some way, I must have access to such incredible, limitless patience. I am without excuse for impatience or self-pity. It seems to me that it is only a matter of leaning into Him well. In any case, these Scriptures were also good words on which to meditate today.

Our Trick-or-Treaters

2011-11-01T06:47:00.002-04:00

Once upon a time, a solar system, cat, dog, and Superman went for a walk around the neighborhood. It was a walk with a purpose. Indeed, they came home with enough treats to live sugar-crazed ever after (or at least until 2012.)

Les Livres du Lundi

2011-10-31T13:11:00.008-04:00

BEFORE PROCEEDING: Don't forget to have some fun and enter the jack-o-lantern guessing contest in the next post!!!

It has seemed that we have had less time for leisurely reading over the last couple weeks. Still, I have a few favorite titles to report. My current read is Fractures by Budge Wilson. It is a collection of short stories that vividly depict life among Canadian adolescents--each with profound insights into the challenges of relationships, life's hard turns, and self-discovery. I have found myself reflecting on these very engaging stories days after reading them, mulling over the thoughts and feelings of the main characters and recognizing the significance of the themes covered in this lovely book. I still have four more stories to go...whenever I can find the time!

Jadon's Pick of the Week is Dewey: There's a Cat in the Library by Vicki Myron. This sweet book tells the story of a real-life small-town feline hero. Its silly tone and beautiful illustrations made it irresistable.

Other favorite picture books this week included Freckleface Strawberry and the Dodgeball Bully, Learn Good Manners with Charles, and Learn Good Habits with Jessica.

(P.S. And because I have them and I think they're too cute to wait, here are some pics of the kids before heading off to school this Halloween morning!)

Annual Jack-o-lantern Guessing Contest

2011-10-30T23:20:00.004-04:00

We completed another fall tradition today--the pumpkins are carved! So now it is time for our annual blog jack-o-lantern contest. Go ahead and try to guess...Who carved the moon and stars, the shark, the dog? And how about that smiley face? Does it belong to Andrew, Ethan, Abby, or Jadon???

I will post the correct answers in the comments section of this post after trick-or-treating tomorrow night!

Update

2011-10-25T21:40:00.004-04:00

(For those of you who noticed, I promise to do a book update next week. Here are some of the reasons it didn't get done for this week...)

Lots has been going on in the Tapper house lately. Here is a quick review of some of the recent happenings:

-School projects!
Both boys have started work on presentations/speeches due for class. Ethan's project was to create a hat out of recycled materials and present it to the class. I thought his "chapeau d'hibou" was charming! Andrew has chosen to write a speech on Wiley Post. (For those who don't know...he was the first man to fly solo around the world.) It is a treat to work on these projects together.

-Ouch!
One day before school, Abby accidently tipped over a thermos of very hot water and burned her arm from wrist to elbow. Fortunately, our dear nurse Auntie Lee was near to help with proper bandages and needed encouragement. Everything is now healing well, but that was not a fun morning.

-Thinking!
A friend invited me to join her at a local action group meeting emphasizing human trafficking. It was an interesting evening which provided lots of information about educational resources on the topic. Besides this, I took two key ideas away from the meeting and have been ruminating on them since. First, an emphasis on fair trade and human trafficking for labour purposes seems to be underrepresented in my experience of hearing about human trafficking within the church. Perhaps the fact that sexuality is such a hot moral topic causes the sex trade to overshadow other forms of trafficking within Christian circles. Or maybe it is just easier to say that human trafficking for sex work is wrong because it doesn't really cost me anything, not like changing my purchasing choices might. Anyway, that was my first line of thinking. The second idea related to the need for continued and significant attention to the ethical standards surrounding international adoption. As an adoptive mother, I believe in adoption...but I can see how easily human rights could be overlooked within the adoption industry. Ethical standards must be stringently maintained.

Big Time!
Andrew's hockey team had the opportunity to play a game at Scotiabank Place, the home of the Ottawa Senators. We parents were instructed to keep the location of the game a secret, so Andrew was pretty excited to see us pull into the arena. The other children also enjoyed this fun experience!

Les Livres du Lundi

2011-10-17T21:14:00.002-04:00

Current Read-aloud: I have been reading A Wrinkle in Time by Madeleine L'Engle aloud to the children. They are enthralled. We are just a couple chapters from the end and they can hardly stand for me to close the book each night, always begging for "just a little more." I think I can remember doing something like that myself as a child...

Jadon's Pick: This week, we picked up The Rumor from the library. Its cover describes it as "A Jataka Tale from India." From the vibrant illustrations to the Chicken Little-like plot to the patterned story-telling to the happy resolution, all four of my kids (ages 4-8) loved this story. Jadon did spot one "mistake," however...after the one hair leaves the multitude to discover the truth, Jadon was quick to notice that there wouldn't be one thousand hairs waiting for his return because now there would only be nine hundred and ninety-nine hairs!

Another Reason to Love Saturdays

2011-10-15T22:38:00.002-04:00

Serious Issue--Funny Kid Perspective

2011-10-13T21:38:00.004-04:00

In our house, family prayertime before bed always includes one country as a prayer focus. Tonight, the highlighted country was Russia. As Mike was reading from Operation World, he noted some information about Russia's declining population and extremely high abortion rate. I checked in with the kids to make sure they understood the issue: "Do you understand this? What is an abortion?"

One hand shot up. "Oh, I think I know," our boy offered. "It's a kind of soup."

(And this is where we parents received the grace of laughter, sharing the joy of childish innocence, before taking time to explain the non-soup reality in Russia...)

(Yummm...here's our own borscht from earlier this summer! We used this recipe, and it was--by far--the best way I've found to use up all the beets from our local farm's weekly vegetable delivery.)

Les Livres du Lundi (LATE!)

2011-10-11T20:45:00.002-04:00

Obviously, this post is already late…and it will be quick, too, as the Canadian Thanksgiving holiday is shortening our week. Here are our favorite children’s storybooks from this week:

A Friend Like You by Julia Hubery—This lovely story has implicit messages about slowing down, appreciating beauty around us, being patient with others and ourselves, and enduring through challenges. The pictures are simple yet captivating. Jadon thought it was silly how monkey always wanted to go fast, and his favorite part was “those butterflies!” This was his pick of the week.

I Love You, Blue Kangaroo by Emma Chichester Clark—Our children love all the books in this series! The emotional reactions of a stuffed toy seem to somehow resonate with them. A great way to introduce empathic reasoning…

Cock-a-doodle-hooooooo! by Mick Manning—This cute story explores the joys of diversity from the perspective of some barnyard fowl. My kids especially love the last wordless illustration. (I’ll leave that for you to discover yourself!)

Music from the Sky by Denise Gillard—A sweet story about a little girl and her grandfather, who enjoy a playful morning together. Jadon was particularly thrilled with this story…perhaps because it involved music, perhaps because the girl has brown skin like him, perhaps because of the teasing tone between the characters…

Big and Busy: How Things Go by Roger Priddy—This book provides lots of great information about how different transportation machines work. Jadon eats this stuff up! Then, of course, he has to share all his knowledge! So, as we’re driving together in the van, he may pipe up with some random piece of information like, “Did you know Sir Isaac Newton figured out forces?” To which Mike responds, “Wow, Jadon. So, what’s a force?” Jadon doesn’t bat an eye. “It’s a pull and a push,” he answers. Mike turns to me and says, “Kristy, you might want to ease off on the preschool stuff…”

Run, Turkey, Run by Diane Mayr—This rhythmic tale of a turkey’s Thanksgiving escape is pure fun and surprise! The children were blissfully quoting the book from memory by the week’s end.

The Secret of Saying Thanks by Douglas Wood—This book may have been a bit less captivating for my children, but the words of its last page have become a theme at our house. Since reading One Thousand Gifts and thinking more about intentional thanksgiving throughout the year, these words rang especially true: “We don’t give thanks because we’re happy. We are happy because we give thanks.”

Happy reading!

Thanks be to God!

2011-10-09T22:12:00.003-04:00

For the harvests of the Spirit,
Thanks be to God.
For the good we all inherit,
Thanks be to God.
For the wonders that astound us,
For the truths that still confound us,
Most of all, that love has found us,
Thanks be to God.
--Frederick Pratt Green

Happy Canadian Thanksgiving from the Tappers!

Happy Birthday to Abby!

2011-10-09T13:02:00.002-04:00

We celebrated the sixth birthday of our imaginative, smart, snuggle-loving, silly, creative girl yesterday. We love you, Abby Hope!

A Few Favorites

2011-10-05T20:22:00.004-04:00

A few favorite photos from our friend who helped us with the Dad Cave project (see below if you missed it!):

Les Livres du Lundi

2011-10-03T19:28:00.002-04:00

I finished Finding Sophie by Irene N. Watts. This was an emotional read for me, especially as one whose family has known separation from birth land and family. I couldn’t help but ask questions about how the current state of the world—where parents in some parts of the world feel they must send their children away in order to have a chance at life—is different from the situation of worldwide war several decades ago. Hmmm.

I also reread a few chapters of No Biking in the House Without a Helmet by Melissa Fay Greene, a humorous yet thoughtful celebration of the author’s real life family, which includes four children by birth and five by adoption. After the past few weeks of Andrew’s hockey evaluations which culminated in him being drafted for an “A” team, I particularly enjoyed the chapter entitled, “A Jewish Guide to Raising Star Athletes.” Actually, there are many parts of this book that made me laugh out loud as I remembered parts of our adoption journeys and imagined some of our likely future family adventures.

Jadon’s pick of the week is The Most Obedient Dog in the World by Anita Jeram. He liked the “surprise” ending. I liked the reinforcement of our weekly theme of obedience and the simple storyline.

Other favorites in our library bag this week: Richard Scarry’s Naughty Bunny, Manners in the Lunchroom (actually, we really like this whole Way to Be! Manners series), A Sick Day for Amos McGee, and Wake Up, Mr. Noah.

Happy reading!

One of Life's Joys

2011-09-27T20:27:00.002-04:00

Today, I shared one of life's joys with my youngest boy: loose leaf tea. Who knew that my sweet boy would exhibit such appropriate enthusiasm for a sample of rooibos?!

Les Livres du Lundi

2011-09-26T13:50:00.002-04:00

(For those of you who are not sure about this post title, it translates to Monday’s Books. I am trying to be more intentional about utilizing my French—even in small ways. I expect that this title will become a weekly feature on this blog, affording the opportunity to discuss a significant love in my own life and one I’m hoping to pass along to my children: BOOKS! Each week will include my favorite reads as well as favorite children’s book selections.)

My Selections:
This past week, I’ve had my nose in a few different books. I finished “The Tiger Rising” by Kate DiCamillo very quickly. I had picked up this book as a potential read-aloud with the children, intrigued by its inside cover description as a narrative about hidden emotions. While I found the characters convincing and the narrative skillfully weave themes such as life’s challenges, dealing with painful feelings, and relational community, I think I will save this book for a while before reading it to my kids. They may need some additional maturity before the plot’s ending twist can be viewed in perspective with the book’s central themes.

I’m also in the midst of “How We Decide” by Jonah Lehrer and “Finding Sophie” by Irene N. Watts. The former is another neuroscience special that has numerous fascinating accounts of scientific experiments and researchers’ interpretations of the inner workings of the human brain. The latter is a young adult novel about a displaced teenager in post-war England.

Jadon’s “Book of the Week:”
“Port Side Pirates” by Oscar Seaworthy, illustrated by Debbie Harter
This book contains a wonderful, sing-song, rhyming text with a repetitious refrain. The bright, imaginative illustrations feature interesting characters and captivating activity. In addition to its cute and simple storyline, the book includes appendixes which note some very remarkable pirate facts, including information about various kinds of ships, pirate history, and details about the lives of famous pirates.

Children’s Book Honorable Mentions:
“Blue Goose” by Nancy Tafuri—teaches about colors and color-mixing in a cute, simple story

“How Do You Count a Dozen Ducklings” by In Seon Chae—with engaging narrative and charming illustrations, this book introduces the concept of multiplication

“Monkey Tales” retold by Laurel Dee Gugler—funny classic stories

“Sam’s First Library Card” by Gail Herman—entertaining book combines information about library services with a lesson about honesty

“Warner, Don’t Forget” by Lynn Seligman and Geraldine Mabin—another cute story with a figure-it-out ending

Happy Reading!

I Love...

2011-09-24T22:29:00.004-04:00

Piano music…

...from Abby's beginner tunes to my favorite Chopin waltzes to improvisational jazz.

"Pianos are such noble instruments -they're either upright or grand." ~ Author Unknown

"To play without passion is inexcusable!" ~Ludwig van Beethoven

"Take a music bath once or twice a week for a few seasons. You will find it is to the soul what a water bath is to the body." ~ Oliver Wendell Holmes

"Without a piano I don’t know how to stand, don't know what to do with my hands." ~ Norah Jones

The Birthday Project

2011-09-23T21:21:00.007-04:00

This year, for Mike's birthday, the kids really wanted to give him something special. We put our heads together. What Dad really wanted, what he needed most, was just a quiet space for his studies. So we came up with a plan.

We zoned in on an old storage room that was in the back corner of the basement--that back corner we never went in. A 6x8 closet with one small window. Oh, and it was really, really dirty. But we saw potential, so everyone pitched in, and with some serious scrubbing and generous amounts of paint, it started to look pretty fresh--not fancy, mind you, but functional.

Grampsie came one day and added some outlets and extra lighting. Daddy's white board, bookshelf, and desk were placed inside.

Then, today (it was a PD day--everyone home from school!), for Dad's birthday, we added some finishing touches. The door label, of course...

And some decorations! A neighborhood friend had taken a bunch of pictures of the kids and me one afternoon. She provided a CD full of excellent photos. Today, we printed some favorites, cut out some inspirational phrases, and wrote some encouraging notes of our own. Then we made three "clotheslines" (with pushpins and string) across the beams of the ceiling. With mini binder clips, we hung our words and images for lifting Mike's heart and eyes.

The other thing we needed to make was a cake! This year we tried a raspberry-filled lemon layer cake with lemon icing and fresh raspberries. YUM!

It was a fun day of projects (plus the traditional Friday family supper at Tim Hortons and an excursion to the Gatineau Sports Center for a recreational swim) and a special birthday celebration!

(I love the expressions on the kids' faces in this picture! Can't you just see how much they love interacting with Dad??)

Handsome Boys

2011-09-21T20:51:00.007-04:00

The Tapper boys have updated their looks. Both Ethan and Jadon have gotten some new eyeglasses. We got the multiple pair deals because Team Tapper seems to be especially hard on frames and lenses. If you haven't seen them yet, here is a peek at their new looks!

As for Andrew, he decided that he was done with his "BIG HAIR" experience. Today, he got a big cut! Here is the BEFORE:

And the DURING:

And the AFTER:

Life Lessons

2011-09-20T21:46:00.000-04:00

A few life lessons learned recently…

1) Poison ivy won’t kill you. (Poor Ethan, upon being diagnosed with this skin condition and prescribed a steroid cream for treatment, looked up bravely into my eyes to ask if he was going to die. It does say POISON, of course.)

2) Carrying sleeping 8-year-olds is bad for Dad’s back.

3) Read-aloud chapter books are great. Like Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. But movies do not always match the book. (We also just finished “The Incredible Journey,” and I was very impressed with the children’s comprehension despite some pretty considerable vocabulary. We are looking forward to a viewing of “Homeward Bound” soon!)

4) Homemade skateboards are difficult to steer (…especially when they involve nailing the wheels of your brother’s roller blades into the sides of a short length of 2x6), but it is still a fun project to try.

5) International adoption clinic doctors might chuckle when they ask a four-year-old about his friends, and he lists of a few names, and then they ask who his best friend is, and he announces boldly, “GOD!”

A Compliment Taken

2011-09-14T15:58:00.002-04:00

(after school, talking in the kitchen...)
Andrew: “Mr. G. is a good teacher, Mom.”

Me: “What do you mean?”

Andrew: “Well, he doesn’t let people be lazy. He's actually kind of tough. He makes us work hard…if kids are just kind of doing whatever, he will be like, ‘Just get going’ and stuff.”

Me: “Oh, so, you think he will help you to do your best?”

Andrew: “Yeah. He won’t let people just do easy stuff. He kind of reminds me of you.”

Works for Us

2011-09-10T07:07:00.002-04:00

Today, I wanted to share a couple of domestic organization tips that are working for us--some simple stuff we've gleaned from others that makes a positive contribution to our family life.

1) The Laundry Steps
Laundry seems to be a never-ending process at our house, but it has settled into a manageable routine with lots of cooperation along the way. Sorting is now know as "laundry basketball" in our house. There have also been quite a few lessons in proper folding technique. Still, the part of the laundry process that is the most tedious for me is putting away. That's where the laundry steps come in. Basically, as the laundry is folded, I/we place it into piles according to who wears the clothes. One pile each for Dad, Mom, Andrew, Ethan, Abby, and Jadon. Then, when all the laundry is folded, I take responsibility for putting away the grown-up's clean clothes, but the other piles are simply placed on the bottom four steps. The children know that, whenever they see a stack on "their" step, it is their responsibility to pick up the pile whenever they go up to their rooms. Because we do laundry six days a week--usually just one or two loads a day--the piles are usually fairly small (carryable) and rarely prompt whining. The Laundry Steps have certainly helped to make the Tapper laundry process a more cooperative system!

2) The Words Glasses
Whoever would love life and see good days must keep their tongue from evil and their lips from deceitful speech. 1 Peter 3:10
Reflection upon our words has been a major focus in the Tapper house recently. We emphasize kindness and respect, but it is not easy. Highlighting "kind words" and "respectfulness" and "gentleness" to children makes one realize one's own faults rather quickly! We are all working on this together!

It has helped us to have a visual reminder. We now have two glasses on the middle of our dining room table. One is the "good" glass, and one is the "bad" glass. We also have a container of fake coins. Each morning, the glasses are emptied. Throughout the day, I listen for the kinds of communication that is happening between the children. If I hear put-downs, discouraging words, or harsh tones, a coin goes into the "bad" glass. If I hear kind and encouraging words, a coin goes into the "good" glass. I do not say anything about the glasses, but the children check the glasses regularly to monitor their progress. Sometimes, the change is dramatic. There will have been a bad mood in the house (say, after school when everyone is a little tired and testy), but someone will notice that the glasses are a bit lopsided in the wrong direction, and, suddenly, a call will go forth for kinder words...and the whole mood of the family will change! It is terrific! At the end of the day, more coins in the "bad" glass means extra chores. More coins in the "good" glass means more family fun (for example, extra reading time, a family game, or another fun activity). This simple visual reminder has been very helpful in our home!

Preschool with Jadon

2011-09-05T20:49:00.005-04:00

As we jumped back into the school routine last week, I was reminded how much my boys thrive on structure. It makes sense. I mean, I like things to be organized and well-planned. And my life has allowed me to generally expect that things are going to work out okay. In contrast, my boys--due, I believe, in large part to some hard early life experiences--have developed a certain hypervigilance. They can put a lot of effort in to making sure things are lined up in a way that is going to work out okay.

As much as I tried throughout the summer to lay out the individual schedule for each day, my efforts simply did not compare to the repetitive nature of school days. Andrew and Ethan appreciate the unmistakable structure of the school year.

Of course, this year, Jadon remains at home while all three of his siblings engage in the public school system. I believe that, like his brothers, Jadon will flourish in an environment that is structured, predictable, intentional. Last year, I borrowed from this site to establish a weekly preschool plan. Jadon (and Abby) and I had a great year, studying weekly themes from moon phases to sheep to trains. We also covered the whole alphabet plus several digraphs, emphasized every color and shape I could think of, and learned lots of new vocabulary words. I am not sure who had more fun with our "preschool" -- was it the kids, as they learned and discovered, or this mom, as she facilitated their learning and enjoyed the daily connection encouraged by library books, letter worksheets, or fingerplays?!?

After last year's successful preschool experience, I was really looking forward to another year with Jadon. My only problem was that he had mastered all the concepts from last year! What could I do now? At first, I thought that I would try to follow a similar theme-centered program, but incorporate more French language in order to increase his readiness for French immersion kindergarten next year. However, I began to worry that our somewhat mischievous, bright little boy might actually need the challenge of language acquisition in kindergarten.

Instead, I've decided to focus more on character formation. I have chosen 34 character traits (courageous, servant-hearted, gentle, content, diligent, etc.) to emphasize throughout the year. For each focus trait, we will discuss a story from the Bible and learn an appropriate memory verse. I will try to come up with activities, crafts, games, etc. to reiterate the weekly theme throughout the week. While I plan to cover some language arts and math concepts as well, the character issues will be prominent. I am really excited about how this year will go!

This week, we will be highlighting the characteristic of attentiveness, telling the story of young Samuel, and learning Psalm 85:8. I hope to play some Simon Says, give lots of praise for listening and obeying, and incorporate some musical activities that require careful listening. Feel free to share any ideas you may have with me! Also, if you are interested in my whole plan for the year, feel free to email me or leave me a comment with your email address, and I will be glad to share what I have come up with.

Summer Favorite Photos

2011-09-02T14:01:00.011-04:00

The Tapper family loves to build. Rarely does a day go by without some LEGO or wood block construction going up...

Both Abby and Jadon took to two wheels this summer. Jogging along with four bike-riding kids has been a great way to exercise...
Even when there is no ice, there is still hockey here!...

Andrew and Ethan had a French tutor come throughout the summer to help them keep up with their French. She was creative and fun, offering comprehension games and sidewalk spelling tests...
Abby and I had a special night out and went to see Ballet Magnificat!'s production called "Journey of the Prodigal." What a fantastic show! (And a terrific daughter...)

Of course, summer is the best time for an ice cream cone...

We had a real blast with our end of the summer family adventure at Eco-Odyssey in Wakefield, QC...

Now it is just Jadon and me at home (I am planning a post on our home "preschool" plans for this year--stay tuned!), enjoying each other...

Abby's First Day of School

2011-09-01T21:08:00.004-04:00

Mom: How was school today, Abby?
Abby: (jumping up in the air with a pumping fist and a broad smile) GREAT!
Mom: What was you favorite part?
Abby: All of it!

First Day of School 2011-2012

2011-08-30T09:22:00.009-04:00

One would think that, after several other "first days," a mother would be less inclined to nervousness at the end of summer. Yet, this morning, I found myself more anxious than ever before.

Perhaps it was because we have had such a challenge of a summer, working through lots of emotional challenges as certain family members come to a point of familial security and have begun expressing more...

Perhaps it was because I know that one of our boys finds academic settings to be as comfortable as making a seat out of a stegosaurus' back; there were last year's tears....

Perhaps it was because I actually had the wrong day marked on the calendar for the first day of school and only heard Monday night (and double-checked my own paperwork to find) that school started on Tuesday and not Wednesday...(:P)...

Perhaps it was because we had decided that Andrew ought to make a transition this year from an English program to a French immersion program, which involves a new set of classmates and more language demands--unknowns that had him a bit uptight and his parents really hoping for the best...

Perhaps it was because, with all our hard family work, summer seemed a bit short this year, and I felt a little sorry to be sending them out again so soon...

But out they went.

And returned with smiles and stories of their schoolday. Andrew's first words lifted my heart: "My class is awesome!" (Mind you, there was no homework handed out today!)

(Taking "first day of school" pictures of second and third grade boys should require a special license, I think. And some kind of reward. Perhaps copious amounts of chocolate!)

(Oh, and for those of you who are wondering, Abby WILL go to kindergarten [again] this year. Remember this? She had "meet the teacher" this afternoon and will have her official "first day of school" on Thursday...so stay tuned!)

Blog Break

2011-08-26T22:24:00.002-04:00

At first, it wasn't intentional. (I just had a sore throat and didn't feel like it!)
But, then, there were a lot of other things that demanded a lot of time and energy this summer.
Hard, important things.
So the blog break became intentional.

Seasons are changing.
You can expect more regular posts in the weeks to come.
Thanks for checking back in :)

Survivor Kids Camp at Zion Hill

2011-07-16T08:23:00.011-04:00

Andrew and Ethan spent a week at Zion Hill Kids Camp. Needless to say, they had a blast!

Obstacle Course 2011

2011-07-09T21:35:00.003-04:00

If you're a long-time blog reader, you might remember our first backyard obstacle course adventure.

That was almost two years ago! When we set out to create another one today, we knew this one had to be quite a bit more challenging. Here's the 2011 version:

Start at the fence.

Climb up and slide down the slide.

Jump through the laundry baskets.

Jump to touch balloons hung from the tree.

Make a basket in each of the two tall baskets/garbage cans.

Walk heel-to-toe across a jump rope laid straight.

Crawl through the pop-up tunnel.

Run zig-zag around the cones.

Push the cart along the chalk "track."

Somersault from the peonies to the markers.

Throw the sponge ball so that it hits the van and then return it to the bucket.

Walk tiptoe around the spiral cord.

Jump over the butterfly net.

Make 3 jumps on the po-go stick.

Touch the swingset.

Everyone made at least two runs through the course. In the first runs, I timed them at around 4 or 5 minutes. They were all considerably faster on their second runs! Everyone thought that getting the baskets was the hardest part--although somersaulting is a close second for Andrew! I think the sense of accomplishment gained by all was significant (not to mention the practice at waiting one's turn, the training in direction-following, and the benefit of physical exercise).

I wonder what I can add next year...

Photo Friday

2011-07-08T20:52:00.012-04:00

It has been a strange week. Lots of highs and lots of lows. The kind of week that reminds one of a hilly New Hampshire marathon--not easy, probably not pretty either, but there is a distinct satisfaction from having completed it, survived it. A sense of satisfaction about maintaining a certain level of parental consistency and compassion despite trying circumstances and difficult emotional challenges among the children.

I'm not one for taking pictures during the tough spots...so here are some of the week's great highlights:

Poetic/Photographic Praise

2011-07-03T22:38:00.009-04:00

Gerard Manley Hopkins penned a poem of praise, Pied Beauty, that emphasizes the beauty of God's colorful creation. I love this title, because pied means "having two or more colors." When I think of how God has brought our family together, the idea of "pied beauty" takes on significant meaning. I might have missed this.

How often, how easily, our view of beauty can be distorted. We grow to think that this or that is beautiful alone: straight, blond hair, red roses, health, paintings by masters, intelligence, the right shoes, whatever.

This is a way I can live counter to culture: to see Creator's beauty in the diversity of God's creation--in dirt and weeds and sick children and spider webs and sky and wrinkles and shadows and bare, brown feet with overgrown toenails...and all.

Pied Beauty
Glory be to God for dappled things--
For skies of couple-color as a brinded cow;
For rose-moles all in stipple upon trout that swim;
Fresh-firecoal chestnut-falls; finches' wings;
Landscape plotted and pieced--fold, fallow, and plough;
And all trades, their gear and tackle and trim.
All things counter, original, spare, strange;
Whatever is fickle, freckled (who knows how?)
With swift, slow; sweet, sour; adazzle, dim;
He fathers-forth whose beauty is past change: Praise him.

Praise him.

We Love Fireworks!

2011-07-02T23:46:00.002-04:00

Things to love about a fireworks show:

Glo-sticks

Hanging out with friends

The color-guessing game

Loud, loud noises

Staying up very late

Group dynamics: community "oohing" and "aahing"

Surprises

Lots of time to snuggle with Daddy

We had a great Canada Day (and wish all our US readers a very happy Fourth of July to come!)

Boys Making Music

2011-06-29T21:27:00.001-04:00

Bread-making

2011-06-25T20:39:00.000-04:00

Divine Conversations at the End Tables

2011-06-23T23:14:00.003-04:00

I LOVE to read. There really are too many books and not enough time.

Growing up, I used to read in bed (until my mom would peak in the door at some hour much beyond my bedtime and tell me that the light needed to be turned off NOW). Today, however, the couch is my preferred late-night reading spot. So, I like my end tables well-laden with possibilities.

Lately, some really excellent reads have found their way to a prominent spot on my end tables. I’ve dug into a couple of old favorites on Christian living, a few adoption-related helpers and stretchers, a library book that was recommended by a friend, and a little yellow book on neuroscience that I found at the thrift store.

Wonderful, fascinating stuff.

I am particularly intrigued by the information on neuroscience. Seriously, if I could pick any career for myself now (and skip all the required training!), I would so be a “something that starts with neuro-“ Learning about the brain gets me excited about thinking!

In The Naked Brain, Restak discusses all sorts of things that scientists are learning about brain functioning. When I read, I can’t help but think about our brain-Maker. And thinking about our brain-Maker makes me think about His Word.

For example, Restak says, “At any given moment our brain is largely under the influence of automatic processes” (p. 22). Automatic processes are balanced by controlled processes, which are conscious, sequential, explainable, etc. (as in the brain work required for following a recipe or balancing your checkbook). In contrast, automatic processes are complex and multifaceted, unconscious, effortless, and often unexplainable (as in an immediate attraction to an individual across a room). They enable us to walk to the refrigerator without consciously deciding which foot to move first, to pick up a food-laden fork and bring it to the mouth without ceasing all conversation in order to concentrate on that motion, to type a sentence in a matter of seconds, to ride a bike, etc. Just think about all the things you do without really thinking! (Ooh, and if you like this scientific brain-stuff as much as I do, click here and try testing some of your own automatic responses in relation to some common unconscious stereotypes. Just remember that your frontal lobes can help you to control any unwanted prejudice: You are not a slave to any automatic response!)

Then, Restak asserts, “In essence, our brain is organized so that once an activity becomes routine it doesn’t require conscious effort but occurs automatically” (p. 24). That brings me to the brain-Maker’s words. I have always loved the discipleship message of 2 Peter 1. It says, “By his divine power, God has given us everything we need for living a godly life. We have received all of this by coming to know him, the one who called us to himself by means of his marvelous glory and excellence. And because of his glory and excellence, he has given us great and precious promises. These are the promises that enable you to share his divine nature and escape the world’s corruption caused by human desires. In view of all this, make every effort to respond to God’s promises” (verses 3-5). God says we’ve got all we need to make it! Even more, God says we can share his divine nature! But there is this one thing: we’ve got to practice—to “make every effort” as Peter says—or, as a neurologist might suggest, we need to attend to these spiritual matters to the point where automatic brain processing takes place. We do holy brain-training.

More brain-Maker words jumped out at me from the pages of my library book: “I have learned how to be content with whatever I have. I know how to live on almost nothing or with everything. I have learned the secret of living in every situation, whether it is with a full stomach or empty, with plenty or little” (Philippians 4:11-12). Voskamp continues with her own commentary, admitting, “I read it many times, groping for the latch….Twice Paul whispers it: ‘I have learned…’ Learned. I would have to learn eucharisteo….Learn it like I know my skin, my face, the words on the end of my tongue. Like I know my own name. Learn how to be thankful…” (p. 47).

This library book, one thousand gifts, centers on the idea of gratitude and discloses one woman’s journey to fullness of life through disciplined thanksgiving—the purposeful and specific naming of God’s gifts. Reading this book is really challenging me to consider what joy I might find, what goodness and fullness I might add to my days and hours, if I was intentional about recognizing the richness of God’s giving to me and about giving thanks to God in return. I’m only half-way through the book…I feel I can’t read it too quickly…but I’m already comfortable making its recommendation.

Meditating on these ideas for several days—the call of the Maker to enjoy his gifts (big and small, easy and hard, beautiful and painful)—I was intrigued when, curled up on the couch with My Naked Brain, I read this: “Unfortunately, our brain is more affected by negative than positive information….negative information weighs more heavily on the brain and has greater impact than equally extreme positive information…Since negative information ‘weighs more heavily’ on the brain, it’s important to actively counter it with a more positive interpretation of events” (Restak, p. 80, 82-83).

And I think I hear the brain-Maker say, “I told you so.” And it sounded something like this:

“Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God” (Philippians 4:6),

“Devote yourselves to prayer, being watchful and thankful” (Colossians 4:2).

“Be thankful in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you who belong to Christ Jesus” (1 Thessalonians 5:18),

“And give thanks for everything to God the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ” (Ephesians 5:20),

“…be thankful, and so worship God acceptably with reverence and awe” (Hebrews 12:28),

“Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice!” (Philippians 4:4).

So what kind of conversations are going on at your end tables (bedside tables, reading chair, bookshelves, etc.)?

Two Years Family

2011-06-22T20:40:00.003-04:00

Two years ago, Andrew and Jadon made us six! (Can you believe how they've grown?? How we've all grown?? How we've grown together???!!!)

2009

2010

2011

(You may have noticed a decrease in post frequency of late. Sorry! I have a few blog posts started--both in my head on saved, unfinished, in draft format--so you can hope for more regular posts to come...but I'm making no guarantees as summer vacation starts tomorrow afternoon!!!)

Jadon Time

2011-06-17T06:39:00.009-04:00

A couple days ago, Jadon and I had some extended one-on-one time while Abby was out with Dad and the big boys were in school. He was affectionate and silly, as usual--but maybe even to a greater degree, basking in the undivided attention. What a joy: my little man!

Fun with Photos

2011-06-09T21:54:00.006-04:00

Here's a few peeks at a bit of fun in the Tapper home. Abby and Jadon like to do lots of art and music while the big boys are at school.

Andrew and Ethan started soccer this week. They both play on l'equipe rouge.

Abby and Jadon have a couple more weeks of swimming lessons, which they absolutely love. They always come out of the pool with faces like these:

Abby discovered that she loves hanging laundry out on the clothesline (dressed as a ballerina, of course.) She remarked that doing so was her favorite part of the day. As laundry doesn't usually rank very high on my thrill list, I was pretty happy for her to love it, too!

Live and Learn Another Day

2011-06-07T20:45:00.013-04:00

Sometimes, I have to remind myself that I generally think of my kids rather fondly. It's in those moments--those days--when it seems that I've redirected and redirected and redirected or reprimanded and reprimanded and reprimanded or repeated and repeated and repeated. Well, you get the point.

Tonight, I hit a point when I was really annoyed with the inevitability of it all. I felt I just had to get out of the house for a moment. Of course, the clothesline full of dry laundry presented me with a legitimate excuse.

As I unclipped, folded, and stacked clothes, I thought about how hard it is to teach kids well. Then I thought about how hard it must be to learn all the stuff that I'm trying to teach. That led me to intentionally ponder the things that my children have done well lately--the ways they are growing, making good choices, getting it right.

What a relief! I could think of something for each one! So, I took the time to sit them down on the couch and share my thoughts on the difficulties of being a mommy, the challenges of growing up, and the ways they are making me proud--even on days when they might also be driving me a little crazy!

Then we went to the beach. Because we were celebrating. We lived and learned another day.

Fleurs de Macadam

2011-06-03T18:53:00.003-04:00

Every year, our city invites the school children and area artists to participate in a lovely day called Fleurs de Macadam. The town sidewalks are the canvass, and chalk (plus big imaginations) are the means. What a fun way to beautify the city! (And terrific incentive for getting out for a walk!!!)

Road Trip Tips

2011-05-23T22:05:00.004-04:00

As we prepare for a cross-country journey, I thought I'd share a few of the things that help Team Tapper survive...even enjoy...long road trips!

1. Packing Lists

I am a list maker. If it is not on my list, it may very well go undone. I found this packing list which includes space for specifying four children! What a help!

2. Van rules

Here is our version (simple and to the point):

3. Recorded Stories

My aunt gave us a box of old Adventures in Odyssey audio cassette tapes a while back. We have been enjoying them in the car. For a long trip, we also enjoy downloading stories or books onto our mp3 player (which plays through the van sound system thanks to our handy cassette converter plug). Storynory is a unique website with downloadable classics and traditional fairytales as well as contemporary, original stories. (For our upcoming trip, I gathered, among others, a few traditional favorites like Cinderella, Snow White, and Aesop's Fables. Andrew has still not heard or become familiar with some of these stories and, sometimes, doesn't "get" allusions to these narratives. It will be fun to listen to them together!)

4. Snack packs

I pack each child's lunch box full of all different snacks. Some are truly healthy. Some are sweet treats. We have various points during our trip where we invite them to take something out of their snack pack. They can choose whatever they want at each time (and it always kind of amazes me how they don't just eat up all the junk first!)

5. Activity packs

In addition to their lunch boxes, we bring their backpacks with various activities. For this trip, I made up individual notebooks for each child. Each one contains a pencil case (with markers, pencils, an eraser, and a sharpener), math worksheets, a license plate chart, mazes, coloring pages, mosaic sticker sheets, writing paper, and blank paper. We also include books, a few small toys, and some travel games in their activity backpacks.

6. Family games

Some of our favorite road trip games include the following:

I Spy, I'm going on a picnic... (alphabet game), I'm thinking of (Yes/No question/guessing game), Find the ABCs, counting cars (or finding a specific color/style), I'm thinking of a word that rhymes with...(guessing game), and random trivia.

Perhaps these ideas might be helpful to someone else. I'm wondering if you might have some ideas that would also benefit others...What do you do on your family road trips?????

Tulips with Gramma and Pappy

2011-05-18T21:50:00.002-04:00

A Few Reasons Why I Love Sundays

2011-05-15T20:40:00.003-04:00

worship services
shared meal and conversation with friends
naps
snuggling
going for a run (with my son)
simple suppers
UNO
reading
Simon Says
early bedtimes...

Reorient

2011-05-11T22:41:00.000-04:00

I've had the following poem posted at different places around my house for some time now: near the computer, the microwave, the mirror, the washing machine. It orients me.

...If, on our daily course, our mind

Be set to hallow all we find,

New treasures still, of countless price,

God will provide for sacrifice.

The trivial round, the common task,

Will furnish all we ought to ask,

Room to deny ourselves, a road

To bring us daily nearer God...

from Morning Hymn by John Keble

MVP

2011-05-01T20:22:00.002-04:00

Andrew's hockey season is almost done. He is learning a lot and enjoying himself, too. He's been playing solid defense but also likes to get in a few goals, too. As a bonus, watching his games is great fun for the whole family! This weekend's tournament involved two heart-stopping 1-goal games. One ended in a regulation win and the other in an overtime (shoot-out) loss. Andrew was picked as a shooter in the shoot-out and SCORED an important goal for his team! Unfortunately, the other team's players scored more, but Andrew's coaches gave him the MVP award for that game. Hooray, Andrew!

What's Up: Child Interviews

2011-04-27T20:20:00.006-04:00

Just for fun, I asked the kiddos a few personal questions. Here are their responses, for the record...

JADON Age: 4 years, 1 month

Weight: 37 lbs.

Favorite food: avocado

Best thing you've recently learned: about dinosaurs from before they were extinct

Favorite activity: playing anywhere while I'm singing

Favorite new words or phrases: Pchooey (obviously not quite dictionary-worthy), driving me bonkers, deciduous, coniferous, noggin, trapezoid

Favorite animal: cats and dogs

Two words to describe yourself to others: hard-working and serious (when questioned, he stated that "serious means you're really true!")

ABBY

Age: 5 years, 6 months

Weight: 41 lbs.

Favorite foods: chips, cheese, and chocolate

Best thing you've recently learned: about butterflies

Favorite activity: swimming

Favorite new words or phrases: comme ci, comme ça

Favorite animal: kittens

Two words to describe yourself to others: sometimes quiet and sometimes loud

ETHAN

Age: 7 years, 8 months

Weight: 41.5 lbs.

Favorite foods: soup and pasta

Best thing you've recently learned: to put story pictures in order

Favorite activity: swimming

Favorite new words or phrases: Oh, yeah, baby; Let's roll, baby

Favorite animal: jaguar

Two words to describe yourself to others: awesome and strong

ANDREW Age: 8 years, 9 months

Weight: 73.5 lbs.

Favorite food: spaghetti, pizza, and lasagna

Best thing you've recently learned: about the ocean

Favorite activity: hockey

Favorite new words or phrases: Always the best deal ever!; Macaroni!; What a goal!

Favorite animal: orca

Two words to describe yourself to others: smart and determined

The Tapper Family Annual Easter Egg Encouragement Extravaganza

2011-04-24T14:22:00.004-04:00

What a special family tradition! Lots of smiles this afternoon as the notes were written, the adventure of the hunt was on, and--especially--as the notes of encouragement were read!

For a description of our take on the Easter egg hunt tradition, scroll down to the end of my last post or click here and scroll down to the egg hunt section.

Easter Symbols: Reflections from the Past Week

2011-04-21T21:16:00.007-04:00

**Jadon was washing dishes. (He does love water--actually, he just had his first official swimming lesson today, and -- while he might not have won any awards for the best leg kick or back float -- he certainly took the prize for brightest smile of joy! Anyway, back to the dishes...) He reached in, up to his elbows at least in suds, and pulled a bowl out of the sink. It was a small bowl, but heavy, I'm sure, to him. Accustomed to his plastic "kid bowls," this ceramic one probably felt substantial, seemed weighty. He dipped it into the water, filling it to the brim, and balanced it on the edge of the sink.
"Mom, this reminds me of the Jesus bowl, like on the banners at church," he called out. "You know, Jesus is holding it with all the bad stuff and thorns and stuff."

(I love that my kids think like that, making connections from everyday, ordinary objects and events to spiritual ideas...that we can go from washing dishes to talking about how the right choices, the things God has for us, are not always what we think we want...that we can worship washing dishes.)
**We've been reading a Lenten devotional at bedtimes. A few nights ago, it included the passage about how the thorn of crowns was made, how they beat it onto Jesus's head, how he was mocked and spit on. Of course, imagining this happening to Jesus makes the children furious.

We asked the children what kind of crown they think that Jesus should have. If they could give him any kind of crown, no limits on what it was made out of or anything, what kind of crown would they make for Jesus? Oh, we had some creative ideas! The Tapper children do not lack for imagination!

(And I wondered, as I listened to them conjure up their most elaborate designs and features, how delighted God must be to hear us strive to express his worth, to communicate our adoration. Hebrews 12:2 talks about how Jesus endured the cross "for the joy set before him. I wonder if he knew--even as that crown of thorns was biting into his scalp--that, one day, Andrew and Ethan and Abby and Jadon would LOVE him so much.)

**Our at-home preschool theme of the week has been eggs. We've read some lovely books and discovered a lot of interesting information. Today, we even found a small, broken egg shell in our backyard. It is a treasured possession.

One of the things that has struck me is the diversity of eggs. When I think of eggs, anyway, I generally just envision a dozen large-sized grade A eggs, safely stored within my refrigerator. But some of our books have reminded us of the assortment of animals who get their start in life from inside an egg, of the endless variety of egg sizes, shapes, colors, textures, and of the diverse processes which are undertaken to care for different kinds of eggs.

(I love that our God is a terrifically creative God. He really could have just made all eggs white, smooth, round, and hard. But he didn't. He made the tiny, pink speckled eggs of the booted warbler and the tubular seaweed-grabbing eggs of the dogfish. He made the rubbery eggs of the green iguana and the pointy ledge-loving eggs of the murre. He made the huge and heavy egg of the ostrich and the miniscule eggs of the lobster. He made feet and soft belly of the male emperor penguin just right to hold its egg and the spider silk and tree leaves for the talented female tailorbird to sew up her egg-holding nest. And that's just a few eggs.

Mark Buchanan has said, "God's creativity is, in one sense, the most obvious thing about Him. He grandstands it, parades His crafts and wares and potions, brash and guady as a gypsy's wagon. But in another sense, God's creativity is hidden. He's elusive with it, playful, coy. Much of what He makes He tucks away, in microscopic minuteness or cosmic immensity, deep beneath us or far above us. He saves His most intricate work for the insides and undersides of things." Anyway, in studying eggs with my preschoolers, I feel like the men on the Emmaus road--like I just met my Lord again in a way I'd never thought about knowing him. And I'm pretty much them...left in awe, jaw-hanging open, head shaking, amazed and inspired.)

**Andrew reminded me of our Easter tradition. (I was impressed that he remembered.) Last year, we had an Easter egg hunt. However, hoping to skip the sugar-high and eager to provide meaningful family interactions during our first spring as a family of six, we came up with an alternative to the candy-filled eggs. On Saturday, each family member took some time to write brief notes to each of the other family members (or, in the case of the youngest, to dictate them). For the kids, most were just a sentence long, something like this: "I like it when you play cars with me" or "You are a good singer." I gathered all the notes and arranged them in plastic eggs, with all the notes for each individual family member in their own individual color of egg. For example, all the notes for Abby went into pink eggs. Mike and I did the hiding in the back yard Sunday morning, and the kids did all the finding! Then we went inside and read all the messages from our family.

It was a special way to celebrate life, love, and our many blessings. We're planning to do it again this weekend.

(How we, for real spiritual living, need the focus of a child on an egg-hunt! It really is a striking metaphor. If I would only be so focussed daily to find LIFE! I know God is not with-holding it. But it might be hiding a bit (in the "basement" of the yellow-rumped thornbill's two-story nest perhaps) while he stands by, eyes trained, brimming with the anticipation of our moment of discovery of all he's offering. My aspiration: Go after God, who piles on all the riches we could ever manage...do good...be rich in helping others...be extravagantly generous. If [you] do that, [you'll] build a treasury that will last, gaining life that is truly life. --1 Timothy 6:17 MSG)

Easter Eggs

2011-04-19T23:07:00.003-04:00

But from this earth, this grave, this dust,

My God shall raise me up, I trust. ~Walter Raleigh

We decorated eggs today. As we did, talked about our various family traditions associated with Lent and Easter and about what Christ's death and resurrection actually mean for us. Only one egg was dropped, causing some tears. Luckily, one smart mom had a few substitutes available for free trade.

Then, childish mischief and an interrupting phone call turned bedtime into a less-than-smooth process. Unfortunately, one tired mom doesn't always handle such situations with perfect technique.

And I'm reminded again of why I love (need) this season.

Playtime

2011-04-17T15:47:00.008-04:00

Courage

2011-04-14T08:31:00.004-04:00

"Courage is not the absence of fear but rather the judgment that something is more important than fear. The brave may not live forever but the cautious do not live at all." -quote from the movie The Princess Diaries

As weeks go, this one has been a hard one. Being a mother, a wife, a friend, a Christian, it certainly takes courage. And I can gather a lot more courage as I trust that I am not alone.

Wilderness and desert will sing joyously, the badlands will celebrate and flower—

Like the crocus in spring, bursting into blossom, a symphony of song and color.

Mountain glories of Lebanon—a gift. Awesome Carmel, stunning Sharon—gifts.

God's resplendent glory, fully on display. God awesome, God majestic.

Energize the limp hands, strengthen the rubbery knees.

Tell fearful souls, "Courage! Take heart!

God is here, right here, on his way to put things right

And redress all wrongs. He's on his way! He'll save you!" --Isaiah 35:1-4

Overcoming "Flat-Brain Syndrome"

2011-04-13T19:59:00.004-04:00

One of the books that I read during my Masters coursework talked about "flat-brain syndrome," which occurs when an emotional response minimizes one's ability to think rationally and respond to others appropriately. I've tried to become better at recognizing "flat-brain syndrome" in myself, to verbalize my own feelings more, and to avoid attacking others just because they happen to pass by while I'm feeling angry or stressed or whatever.

I've also attempted to recognize this emotional state in my children and to help them through it. Of course, it is not an easy job for anyone, but it can be particularly difficult for children who endured neglect, abuse, or significant trauma to calm down from an emotional outburst. We had one such incident with one of the boys today. Certainly, he was tired from a too-late-bedtime last night (because of a school concert that ran until almost 10pm!). Furthermore, it was in that space of time just before dinner when hunger starts to rise, but the food isn't quite ready yet. He was working on a project...I was trying to help...and let's just say that he didn't find my help particularly helpful.

Then came the explosion.

I never quite expect that. But here it was. Molten lava emotion spewing all over the living room. No sign of letting up. What should I do?

Fortunately, today, I thought of something that has been helpful in the past. Honestly, our emotional explosions are quite a bit more rare than the used to be (I'm so glad.), and I haven't had to think about too many diffusing options lately. But the idea of art popped into my head as the volcano roared. I simply pulled out a few sheets of paper, a bag of markers, and a case of colored pencils. I set them beside the offended party and quietly suggested that he might want to draw what he was feeling while I went to finish up the supper preparations in the kitchen.

I came back a few minutes later and found this...

...and an infinitely more agreeable child.

"Oooh! Can I see?" I asked.

He gladly handed over his creations.

"Can you tell me about these?" I queried, but he wasn't quite ready yet. I pointed to the shorter blue person. "Is this you?"

He nodded; a sheepish smile turned the corners of his mouth.

I pointed to the oval-shaped object near the mouth region of the boy figure and guessed. "Is that your tongue sticking out?"

The grin was unstoppable now.

"And is this who I think it is?" I asked as I pointed to the larger figure with the glaring face and the various marks upon its frame.

"That's you!" he exclaimed with glee. We giggled together and continued to talk--to actually talk about his feelings and about how great it was that he was able to share in this way, safe and productive.

Needless to say, I love this simple technique. It's like a little trapdoor that allows for the release of all kinds of pent-up emotion that my little guy can't quite figure out how to control, an alternative form of expression when verbal language simply doesn't suffice.

If others of you are using art in some creative way with kids, I'd love to hear about that. Or if you have any other strategies for overcoming "flat-brain syndrome" in your household, I'm eager to hear any other ideas, too. And if you come across a flat-brain (your own or someone else's) in the days ahead, feel free to give this feeling-drawing technique a try and let me know how it goes!

Leaky

2011-04-11T21:29:00.004-04:00

Honestly, today was one of those days when I felt like my "patience tank" must have had holes in it, because I felt repeatedly annoyed by various behaviors among the Tapper clan.

I don't enjoy those days so much.

I did enjoy watching Ethan help his Daddy change out the winter tires on the van. Seeing him work always makes me smile. He loves a good, physically-demanding job.

Friday Fun Fotos

2011-04-08T22:51:00.002-04:00

First Snow-less Day at the Park

2011-04-05T19:54:00.011-04:00

Answer to a Child's Question by Samuel Taylor Coleridge

Do you ask what the birds say? The Sparrow, the Dove,

The Linnet and Thrush say, "I love and I love!"

In the winter they're silent -- the wind is so strong;

What it says, I don't know, but it sings a loud song.

But green leaves, and blossoms, and sunny warm weather,

And singing, and loving -- all come back together.

But the Lark is so brimful of gladness and love,

The green fields below him, the blue sky above,

That he sings, and he sings, and for ever sings he --

"I love my Love, and my Love loves me!"

April Fool's Day: Sneak Peek

2011-03-31T20:35:00.005-04:00

I am feeling mischievous.

Tomorrow, of course, is the first day of April. The significance of this day is, of course, especially great for elementary-aged boys. I, of course, happen to have two in my home.

I do not want to miss this opportunity.

And because it is so much more fun to share a good prank, I am letting you in on my scheme to trick the boys tomorrow.

The necessary resources:

two snack packs of cookies (carefully opened, cookies removed)

a package or carrots (divided into 2 appropriate serving sizes and placed within "cookie"

an "April Fools" note from ME (also placed in package)

double-stick tape (used to reseal "cookie" package)

two lunch boxes (into which "cookie" package is inserted with other food items and placed in its usual spot within the refrigerator for tomorrow morning's backpack loading convenience)

Hee, hee, hee, hee, hee...

Update: This prank was terrifically succesful from a surprise stand-point. Both boys admitted being startled by the sight of carrots in their snack pack. However, neither thought the removal of their cookies in favor of a vegetable was particularly funny...just very (insert overdone eye-roll) Mom-ish. (They love me!)

More Artwork

2011-03-30T09:55:00.003-04:00

How do you see the world? Sometimes, it is revealed in how you color. Andrew's pictures are usually all about hockey :) Ethan's pictures are usually full of lots of different colors, haste, and activity. Jadon's pictures are always full of lots of bright, loud color. Abby is particular. She likes things to be just right.

I LOVE how "just right" this one is. I love how she is learning to see the world.

Backwards Birthdays and Other Crazy Things

2011-03-27T20:15:00.011-04:00

For his birthday party, Jadon decided to have a "backwards birthday celebration" complete with backward attire for his good-humored family and friends...

cake-eating first, of course...

upside-down brain teasers...

a fun word-matching game (for a few examples, can you figure out the backwards version of drawer, dog, desserts, pan, star, and wolf?)...

pin the donkey on the tail...

backwards spoon-balancing races...

and backwards balloon basketball.

The birthday boy had a blast! And it was fun to be silly with friends and family!

On a completely different note, Mike decided to remove his gotee today. He let the kids in on the process. They thought that was ridiculously fun!

Block/car/farm creations are pretty much a daily activity in our house. They never seem to tire of trying something new with these. Sometimes, they come up with some very creative ideas. Other times, just outrageous...

Happy Birthday, Jadon!

2011-03-24T18:29:00.006-04:00

Our youngest is another year older! We celebrated Jadon's fourth birthday today (with more celebrations to come on the weekend, too!) This little man is so full of life. He overflows with joy--singing almost constantly, laughing his incredibly hearty laugh, and loving interactions with other people. He loves to read, play blocks, help in the kitchen, make all kinds of music, and do pretty much anything that involves jumping.

In the words of his big sister: "He is SO cool."

Loving Touch

2011-03-22T19:51:00.004-04:00

Several months ago, I wrote a post about how simple things can show love. Specifically, I described my desire to renew my intentionality regarding eye contact with my loved ones. This week, I’ve been challenged to be deliberate about another relatively simple thing: physical touch.

It first came up when I was doing some stuff online. A pop-up for 5 Love Languages self-analysis came up. (If you have no idea what I’m talking about here, check out this site.) I had previously read a couple of the books on this topic, so I wasn’t unfamiliar with the ideas or where my loving tendencies might be assessed. Not being particularly busy, I decided to see how I scored on the test. When my results came up, I was a bit surprised! My love languages have adapted quite a bit over time. Quality time used to be my run-away top pick, but, according to my latest results, quality time and physical touch (interesting!—I don’t necessarily think of myself as a “touchy-feely” kind of person) actually fell just behind acts of service (there’s something about being a mother of four that enhances this language, I think!). I took a bit of time to reflect upon how acts of service and physical touch might be more important (or even just accessible) to me now than ever before.

I was reminded of this idea again while I was preparing for a Bible study group. We were supposed to be talking about relationships and how people give and receive love. There were questions about how we’d received love, how we’d given love to others, and how we might have missed opportunities to give love. Hmmmmm.

Then, last night, I finally took time to look up some information on brain chemistry and neurotransmitters that I’d dumped into a file for “another time.” This is a fascinating topic of study for me--how physiological formation of the brain corresponds to one’s physical activities and circumstances. For instance, did you know studies suggest that an 80-year-old couple who reach out and hold each other’s hand stimulates new connections in their brains, making possible the production and release of chemicals which support feelings of satisfaction and well-being? Furthermore, children’s brains are all about making these types of connections which optimize brain chemistry. However, they do not happen automatically. Positive, loving physical touch is essential to ideal brain development.

From my research, I found and watched a fascinating interview with child development specialist, Karyn Purvis. If you find this post interesting at all, I highly recommend that you take some time and watch it here. (The whole video is over 25 minutes long, but it includes another interview as well. If you want to watch the information on providing loving touch for children, you need to give yourself about 15 minutes.).

I was reminded that all children need loving touch. Not touch that only facilitates something necessary (like changing a diaper or bringing a child safely across a street). Children need touch that simply communicates affection. Children, like mine—who may have had periods of their lives during which they received little or no affectionate touch—may have an especially great need for such physical touch. This is because they must make up for some “lost” brain connections, which would often occur naturally in those with less stressful or traumatic early life circumstances.

When an idea repeatedly pops into my life within the span of just a few days, I figure that it is something to which I probably ought to pay some attention. So, this morning, as the children ate their breakfast, I intentionally made unnecessary physical contact with them: resting my hand across a back, pulling a body close for a moment, touching a cheek, gently rubbing the shoulders. Ethan noticed immediately: “Mom, can you keep doing that? I like how it feels.”

So simple. Yet so easy to miss.

I needed a reminder.

Just to Wind Down from the Day...

2011-03-21T20:29:00.003-04:00

Yes, I know the picture quality is terrible in the above collage, but how can you really capture the action when three very enthusiastic boys are trying their best to pelt you with large, wet snowballs? Happy Spring from Gatineau, Quebec!

A House Divided

2011-03-18T19:58:00.005-04:00

It occurred to me just the other morning that our house is divided. And I think that's gotta cost me.

You see, three of the members of our family do not settle particularly quickly into bed at night. Their pillows are more a necessary end than a passionate pursuit. Rather, they have this inner energy that crescendos during the later hours, enabling all sorts of industrious activity. After night, however, when the light of morning creeps around the window curtain or the alarm clock sends forth its urgent call, these three are, at best, listless. In fact, greeting them in the morning can be downright dangerous. They would fall into the "night people" category.

Of course, that leaves three others. These three do not have a glorious final energy surge at the end of the day. In fact, their brains and bodies tend to go into some form of shutdown as the sun sets. They tend to snuggle into bed with the joy of a reunion with a long-lost friend. Sleep is sweet release from the exhaustion of the day and is eagerly embraced, readily received. Morning finds them refreshed and enthusiastic about the day's opportunities. They wake with clear mind and great hope. They would fall into the "morning people" category.

I fall into the second group. My other two happy morning friends happen to be two boys from Ethiopia. Two extroverted boys from Ethiopia. Two extroverted boys from Ethiopia who have developed incredible English vocabularies...and love to use them...PRETTY MUCH CONSTANTLY.

I love them dearly, of course, but, having lived for quite a few years with a bunch of night people, this introverted mom had grown accustomed to savoring quiet early mornings with a cup of tea, a Bible or another great book, some yoga stretches, or a bit of efficient task accomplishment while other household members slumber in oblivion. Now, not only do I have two companions for my morning activities, but they want to talk to me--a lot. This is disturbing. It should not be this way, says the introverted, quiet morning lover.

Yet it is.

So, I am committing to a new motherly sacrifice. It's two-fold, really. First, I recognize that I must be willing to give up some sleep (or at least be more disciplined in an early bedtime) in order to facilitate desired quietness and solitude. Second, I realize that I must love my boys by joyfully engaging them in the mornings, turning those times from my special times into our special times.

Maybe I needed to recognize our dividedness in this matter in order for us to come together in a new way. And maybe I need to count this cost in order to receive a tremendous gift.

A Sure Sign that Spring is Near

2011-03-15T20:00:00.003-04:00

There was ball hockey in the driveway this afternoon--a sure sign that spring approaches.

There was a minor incident involving teeth and a lip, but as you can see...it didn't slow anybody down too long!

Déjà Vu (Almost)

2011-03-14T15:33:00.003-04:00

Abby is still loving playing the piano. She has completed 11 lessons with www.freepianolessonsforkids.com, can play 5 songs, and knows quite a bit of basic theory. Of course, this music-loving mom is pretty pleased!

We Love Pancakes For Supper!

2011-03-10T22:14:00.003-05:00

Tapper Happenings

2011-03-09T13:35:00.003-05:00

I completed worship banners for the lenten season. The background material is a deep charcoal felted wool and contains a tiny bit of a sparkle. For me, its rough texture and dark colour symbolize the heaviness of this season as we contemplate Christ's passion. The sparkle is like a hint of the hope that we have, even in the dark times. The contrasting fabric is a lavender satin. Purple is symbolic of both suffering and royalty, appropriate as we consider the painful sacrifice of the King of Kings. The image on the one banner--a cup held up toward the cross, being filled with thorns--provides a reminder of Jesus's willingness to submit to taking on the sin of the world, with all its horrible pain, loneliness, and distress. The verses from Isaiah 53 describe him as one of us, who knows suffering and pain--even our pain. Indeed, he took the punishment that should have been ours. I hope that these banners will be a meaningful part of our church's worship this season.
Yesterday, Ethan completed his last gymnastics class for the winter session. He really enjoyed participating in this group. There was lots of opportunity for him to move, move, move! Bars, rings, trampoline, somersaults, headstands--he learned a lot!

We've had a few sunny days! Our ice rink is not so happy about this, but I love it! There is still lots of snow on the ground, but it is so nice to feel warmth on your face when you leave the house.

Ethiopian Adoption Uncertainty

2011-03-08T21:35:00.002-05:00

There has been a lot of talk in the adoptive community about rumors that Ethiopia will be severely reducing the number of international adoptions that it will allow to be processed. Apparently, the Ethiopian Ministry of Women and Children’s Affairs (MOWA) has stated that they wish to reduce the number of recommendation letters (required for a successful adoption) that they write each day in order to provide greater attention to each individual case. Some have suggested that this action could decrease Ethiopian adoptions by up to 90 percent and significantly delay the adoption processes that do proceed. MOWA and court officials will be meeting this week in Ethiopia in order to discuss this issue.

Obviously, I care about international adoption. I think adoption can be a powerful, redemptive work in a broken, messy world. This blog post resonates with me because it looks at the current uncertainty from several angles, which I think is very important.

Will you join me in praying for the meetings in Ethiopia—that somehow God’s heart for orphans would be reflected in the decisions made there? Further, check out the Joint Council Emergency Campaign for Ethiopia at http://betheanswerforchildren.wordpress.com/2011/03/08/emergency-campaign-for-ethiopia/. This site details a few other practical ways you can offer support for adoption processes in Ethiopia in the midst of this time of uncertainty.

Our LORD, you will always rule,
but nations will vanish from the earth.
You listen to the longings of those who suffer.
You offer them hope, and you pay attention to their cries for help.
You defend orphans and everyone else in need,
so that no one on earth can terrify others again. (Psalm 10)

A Day at the Zoo

2011-03-06T13:34:00.014-05:00

This past week was March Break. (Yeah, I know...it started in February. Go figure.) We spent a few days in Toronto with Mike's family and had a super time! Here are a few favorite pics from our trip to the Toronto Zoo.

Our Busy Bread Machine (and a Recipe for you!)

2011-03-01T20:02:00.004-05:00

Since adjusting Jadon's diet in an effort to make friends with his reactive digestive system, one of the common sounds in our house is the whirring of the bread machine. You should know that his bread machine was a wedding present...so it has been faithfully serving this family for over 12 years! But it has been getting quite the workout lately, for sure.

Making our own bread means that I know exactly what is in it (as opposed to most bread labels which have a considerable list of "may contain..." items). I have done a bit of experimenting with different types of breads, but--for simple, inexpensive, sliceable, sandwich-friendly bread, I have landed on the following favorite recipe:

Sandwich Bread

Ingredients: 2 tablespoons warm water
1 cup warm milk (we usually use rice milk)
3 tablespoons oil
3 tablespoons granulated sugar
2 teaspoons salt
2 cups all-purpose flour
1 cup whole wheat flour
1/4 cup corn starch
2 1/4 teaspoons active dry yeast

Add the ingredients into a bread machine as listed. Set for a basic light crust setting. Wait 2 hours and 40 minutes (or as long as your bread machine takes). Enjoy!

Sunday Afternoon

2011-02-27T22:51:00.000-05:00

Five Years!

2011-02-26T22:51:00.002-05:00

This Sunday marks five years since the day that Ethan was officially declared to be a Tapper. If you divide up his life into thirds, one-third was spent before we knew him. The other two-thirds have been with us! He brings a certain wonderful kindness, a quiet thoughtfulness, a wild giggle, and some serious muscle for outdoor work to our family. He was the first child in our hearts and will always hold that special place.

Happy Ethan's Adoption Day!

February 2006 (in Ukraine)

2007

2008

2009

2010

2011

Family Night

2011-02-25T21:26:00.002-05:00

Tonight, we enjoyed a special wintertime treat in Ottawa: skating on the canal. This gal had to work to keep up with all those Canadians :) Yes, even Jadon can fly pretty quickly on those skates! (But, as you see from the pic, he also likes to have a little rest here and there...)

Lots of fun!

Overheard Today

2011-02-21T21:34:00.002-05:00

-----I was downstairs making supper and could hear all four children playing in the upstairs hallway. It was high-energy, make-believe, adventure play. Maybe you remember playing "Cowboys and Indians" or "Cops and Robbers."

But that's not the ultimate adventure for my kids. As I listened to their racing cars and demands for proper paperwork, I realized they were playing "Border Crossing."

-----Since Ethan had an afternoon doctor appointment, there were three kids walking with me to pick up Andrew after school today. Ethan and Jadon discovered that the snowbanks are all frozen solid. They enjoyed climbing atop the roadside heaps and balancing their way along. At one point, Jadon called out, "Hey, Mom! Look! I'm walking on water!"

A Wordless Wednesday Post

2011-02-16T13:41:00.005-05:00

Slick Kick

2011-02-15T19:56:00.003-05:00

A day a little too warm for good skating makes for an interesting challenge to the soccer game...

Family Talk

2011-02-10T21:05:00.003-05:00

I’ve had the opportunity to volunteer at the boys’ school a few times. Today, for example, all the Grade 1 and 2 students had an hour in the afternoon for skating at the local arena which is just two streets over from the elementary school. Imagine 100+ six to eight-year-olds with untied skates and unbuckled helmets. And you can easily see why parent volunteers are needed.

We (Abby and Jadon were quite excited to be coming along, too!) joined up with Ethan’s class just before the walk to the arena. Immediately, of course, Ethan’s classmates noticed the two extra children with me. The questions began. There were the spoken ones: “Ethan, is that your brother/sister? What’s his/her name?” And then there were the unspoken ones: “Why does your family look so different? How did you get to be family?” You could just see their little minds working.

And I love those times.

I love the chance to talk about how our family came together. Especially in the simple terminology that kids appreciate. And I love how easily most kids accept it all. “Hey, that’s really cool,” they say.

The experience of positive exposure to adoption is key to removing some of the stigma associated with adoption—the fear that stems from the unfamiliar. So I have a challenge for families that have not been formed through adoption: take a little time to talk to your kids about adoption. There are lots of ways that this might happen. If you know an adoptive family, you could point out the way that family came together. You could get a book about adoption from your local library. If you look carefully, you might even find multiracial families in some of your favorite children’s books (Canadian illustrator Michael Martchenko—of Robert Munsch books fame—often includes multiracial families in his books) and can point these out and discuss.

Last week, a friend told me about a conversation with her daughter. This woman is expecting a child (by birth) in June. As she snuggled with her 5-year-old (who is fervently hoping for a little sister), they discussed the new baby and talked about how the little girl was her mommy’s first baby and would always be her first baby. For whatever reason, the girl thought of our family. “Just like Andrew was Kristy’s first baby, right?” she asked. Caught a bit off guard, my friend had to pause. “Well, it’s a bit different with Andrew and Kristy.” She continued to describe the unique way our family came to be…and a little bit more about adoption, how sometimes parents die and can’t take care of their children or how sometimes parents have to give their children away because they really cannot care for them.

That was the point in the conversation that the little girl looked up at her mommy and asked if it was possible for their family to give away her three-year-old brother. Of course, that proposal was swiftly denied.

But, I’m thankful for my friend who took the time to have a conversation, however simple and small, to reinforce to her child that adoption is a legitimate way that families come together. Such talk blesses my family.

Speaking of families, I have to share Andrew’s comments after supper tonight. As he headed for the broom closet in order to begin his evening chores, he said, “I really don’t like chores, but I do like my family.” :)

I'm glad, buddy. I like our family, too.